Reaction Zone - A parody champion for a parody of a promotion

I don't watch TNA Impact anymore. Don't need to, not when I can read spoilers for their taped-weeks-in-advance shows, and I can judge for myself just how bad things are. Not on the "surface", if you will, meaning on your television screen, with the vagabond promotion on its third network in as many years, but in the booking department.

TNA's Uncreative team is comprised mostly of WWE castoffs. Of these, head writer Dave "Creature from the Black" Lagana is the one with the most experience, and is a Paul Heyman disciple. Christy Hemme has the least experience as a writer. And she came into wrestling from Comedy Central's "Man Show", when it was hosted by two really funny guys in Adam Carolla and Jimmy Kimmel. Christy's in-ring career was cut short by injury, and other than being a hotter ring announcer than WWE's Lillian Garcia (sorry, Lil), what can she bring to the table now? The Dollhouse, I suspect, might've been her idea, but who's to say Vince Russo doesn't have her on speed dial to secretly give her these ideas? "Big" John Gaburick is best known for being associated with "Tough Enough" during the MTV years. Figure Al Snow brought him in. Unfortunately, other than "TE", what exactly did Gaburick do for WWE to warrant a cushy office job with TNA?

Anyway, let's cut right to the chase. The only historical significance of Matt Hardy as a 2-time TNA champion, matching the total of his brother, Jeff, is that he & Jeff are the only brothers to have held the TNA title. This is lost amidst the fact that Matt, winning as a heel this time, is parading his wife, Reby (formerly Rebecca Reyes to those who remember Lucha Libre USA), and their 7 month old son, Maxell, as if he thinks he's Rick Steamboat after "The Dragon" won the Intercontinental title in 1987, and his wife, Bonnie, and son Rick, Jr., were put on camera. That all ended, I think, after Rick lost the title to Honkytonk Man. At least Rick knew enough to pull back and get his family out of harm's way.

The only other title resembling a "world" title that Matt has held was, of course, the ECW title, under WWE stewardship, about seven years ago. That didn't last long. So, then, what does that tell us about Matt Hardy, world champion?

He's a parody of a champion, that's what.

Yes, I'll come right out and say it. Three networks in as many years, pushing WWE castoffs ahead of established, home-grown talent, learning nothing from the mistakes of four tours of duty by Russo from 2002-14. Instead of forging its own identity, TNA is content, because it's run by a mark in Dixie Carter, with copying, if not outright parodying, WWE. Ethan Carter III (Michael Hutter), now on a "redemption" push as a babyface, was presented as a spoiled brat, a male parody of Stephanie McMahon, but without her brother Shane's daredevil in-ring stunts, workrate, or charisma. So what does that make Matt Hardy in 2016? No, not a parody of Rick Steamboat, though the family angle suggests this. Rather, a send-up of another North Carolina wrestling icon who once toiled for TNA. Yep, Ric Flair. No, Ric never flaunted his wife in front of the cameras. We weren't supposed to know that back in the 80's, when Ric and the Four Horsemen were wrestling's Rat Pack, that he was in fact married (as were the others, I think). I have to do a bit on the Horsemen/Rat Pack connection another day.

Digression over. Matt will feud with Jeff once the latter heals from his injuries and is cleared to return in the 2nd half of '16. That much is obvious. However, it may be over a title of being captain of a sinking ship, which is what TNA is, really, treading water and surviving because Dixie is probably doing the poor widow bit for sympathy points with her network partners on a yearly basis. Like, how much lower can TNA go?

I had assumed when Mike & Maria Bennett came in that the Hardys (Matt & Reby) and Bennetts would be united as a rebooted Kingdom, or whatever name they'd be forced to use, assuming ROH owns the copyright to the stable name due to merchandising. Instead, at the tapings in England last week, Maria was hot-shotted into the role of the Dollhouse's new leader, after Awesome Kong was sent home following a backstage issue with Reby Hardy.

Ah, therein lies the problem. It would appear that Matt is using the political card this time around, protecting his wife and ensuring that Kong is either suspended or fired, nearly six years after a similar backstage encounter between Kong and Todd Clem (Bubba the Love Sponge) resulted in the latter being fired. All that says to me is that this is business as usual for money mark Dixie, kowtowing to one of her zillion WWE refugees to keep him 1) happy and 2) from going back to WWE for a likely farewell tour.

Another sign that Hardy (and perhaps, by extension, Jeff, though we don't know this) is playing politics is the recent signing of Shane "Hurricane" Helms. Could Shannon Moore be lured away from his tattoo parlor long enough to try a comeback with TNA? I'd not be surprised if he does, and there could be more of the Hardy "Carolina Cliq" that we don't know about on the way. These are the kind of moves that will sink a second or third tier promotion already on its last legs because of poor management of common sense. Eventually, we will learn that TNA is on its death bed again, but this time, there will be no resurrection. Matt Hardy claimed he was stronger than death. Don't believe it. He's a parody of a champion for a parody of a promotion, and in the twilight of his career, there are going to be those who see him as a parody. Period. Because his best days were in the WWE 15 years ago, and there's no turning the clock back, no matter how he tries.


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