Home / Results / Lucha Underground / June 28, 2017

1. Mil Muertes squashed Veneno.

2. Paul London def. Vibora via countout.

3. Taya def. Joey Ryan.

4. Jeremiah Crane def. Killshot.

The first round of the Cueto Cup rolls on. After the opening montage, Catrina greets Mil Muertes as he awakens from his, ah, hibernation, if ya will. Unsurprisingly, Catrina wants the Cup, and Mil is willing to oblige. They kiss, and we're on our way to the Temple.

1. Mil Muertes (w/Catrina) vs. Veneno.

El Squashola. Plenty of Spider-Man jokes from Matt Striker with the new movie coming next week. Reaper's Trident starts it. Flatliner finishes it. Veneno was not given a chance.

Winner: Mil Muertes.

2. Paul London vs. Vibora (w/Kobra Moon).

London carries a carrot in his hatband. Think about that one. Plenty of drug references to explain the Rabbit Tribe's odd behavior. Mala Suerte & Saltador, who failed to advance the last two weeks, show up and distract Vibora to give London a chance. Early on, London held Kobra Moon at---wait for it---carrot-point. I kid you not. That was funny. At the end, the fighters are on the floor. London beats the count, but Vibora cannot, as the other Rabbits hold his legs from under the ring.

Winner: Paul London.

So the Rabbit Tribe's losing streak ends. Color me unimpressed.

3. Taya vs. Joey Ryan.

Officer Sleazebag does his usual thing, and the facials on Taya are awesome, selling her repulsed response. She slaps away the lollipop after Ryan had rubbed it on his oiled chest. Choice, man. Otherwise, this was an even match. Ryan wrestled women plenty of times, so there's no hesitation, unlike Fenix vs. Mariposa last week. Taya hit a running double foot stomp for 2. Ryan with a superkick to knock Taya off the apron. At the end, Taya hit the Northern Lights Suplex, rolled through, and landed another double foot stomp for the win. For once, a Worldwide Underground member gets cheered.

Winner: Taya.

More hype for Johnny Mundo vs. Rey Mysterio, Jr.. What do they think they're on? HBO? Comments from Striker, Cage, Chavo Guerrero, Jr., & Prince Puma.

Muertes is leaving in a suit, but is ambushed by Jeremiah Crane, who covets Catrina as much as Marty Martinez does Melissa Santos. Maybe the women should get together........

4. Jeremiah Crane vs. Killshot.

Hmm. The first round ends next week. Re-doing the math, four matches a week in the tournament would bring it to an end in August, not October.

Best match on the show, just for sheer violence. They went all over the place, and traded topes and suicide dives in the first 2 minutes. Killshot kept going for the One Winged Angel, but it was blocked once, and on the last attempt, Dante Fox appeared in the bleachers to distract. Crane capitalizes and hits the Cranial Contusion (Jay Driller) to advance.

Winner: Jeremiah Crane.

Crane will face Taya next, while Muertes and London meet in round 2.

In Dario Cueto's office, a masked newcomer who bears some resemblance to Son of Havoc, but bigger, calling himself Son of Madness, lands a late entry into the tournament, as he'll face Havoc next week. Also, Fox faces El Dragon Azteca, Jr. (expect a receipt from Killshot), and Sexy Star meets P. J. Black.