Home / Results / Lucha Underground / March 23, 2016

Online exclusive: Joey Ryan def. Mr. Cisco, Cortez Castro, & Killshot, pinning Cisco, to advance to Aztec Warfare.

Aztec Warfare: Matanza Cueto is entered as the 21st and final competitor, and sweeps out the remaining combatants to win the Lucha Underground title.

Aztec Warfare II wasn't as much fun as it was last year, but there was more drama, and the debut of the most athletic monster in wrestling history.

But, we're getting ahead of ourselves. An online exclusive match helped set the whole thing up.

Joey Ryan vs. Killshot vs. The Crew (Mr. Cisco & Cortez Castro).

One fall does not settle everything, and that's a lesson that all the promotions have yet to figure out. The Crew come out together, and work together for most of the match. Before the bell, Catrina came out and made this for the final invitation to Aztec Warfare II. Vampiro says Ryan reminds him of 70's porn stars. Well, let's look at it this way. He has Scott Hall's original look from the 80's, but less height. Curly hair? Check. Magnum PI mustache? Check. Charisma? Nope. Matt Striker & Vampiro describe Ryan as being sleazy. Actually, he's being lazy, taking more time on the floor than he had any right to. If this were an elimination match without count-outs, it's good strategy, but not here. He does get some offense in, dropping both Crew members with weaker than usual superkicks. And the Crew, at one point, were ready to throw down. The announcers don't know that Castro & Ryan are actually undercover cops, and when they square off for the first time, it doesn't register with the audience. Castro hit a fisherman buster on Killshot for 2 before Cisco saved. Then Castro returned the favor after a wheelbarrow face drop by Cisco. Cisco's selling an injured shoulder compliments of Texano, Jr., but is toughing it out. There's hope for him yet.

The ending sees Killshot hit the double foot stomp (Warrior's Way) off the top on Cisco, but Ryan slithers in as Killshot takes two steps away, and steals the pin and the invitation.

Winner: Joey Ryan.

Aztec Warfare: Forget about keeping track of who's in it. It starts with Fenix and, making his debut in the temple, REY MYSTERIO! Major pop. Matt calls him the King of Lucha Libre, and he's got an insignia on his vest to prove it. Word. Only one woman enters the match this year, and it's Taya, who doesn't last very long. At one point, it looked like they were adding Jack Evans to the Taya-Johnny Mundo team, even though Evans had just started a partnership with PJ Black. Black finally earned a pinfall, eliminating Drago, but at the same time, Aerostar dismissed Evans. Expect a tag match next week. Argenis returned after playing a Disciple of Death since last summer, and was squashed by Mysterio. Marty Martinez entered early, but no sign of any of the other women. Martinez actually no sold a tornado kick by Evans, but was eventually eliminated by Mysterio. Ryan entered at #6, and promptly used his handcuffs to chain himself to the barrier. More laziness, which suggests Ryan might be injured and is working this gimmick to hide the injury. I say that because I've seen better from him.

Former champ Mil Muertes enters at #20, but is almost immediately eliminated, as Mysterio & Prince Puma dogpiled on him less than 5 minutes in. This was because Pentagon, Jr., who was not allowed to compete per Catrina in a pre-match segment backstage after Pentagon cut a promo on Fenix, ambushed Muertes. Catrina reamed out Vampiro, and slapped him. Sorry, but being a poor woman's Stephanie McMahon didn't help Dixie Carter, either. Striker riddles his commentary with pop culture and comic book references, which is always fun. For example, he invoked Power Man & Iron Fist in reference to Cage, who was eliminated after Mundo, who'd been eliminated earlier, came back later and cracked a cinder block on Cage's head so Taya could pin him. Unfortunately, Taya ended up getting squashed a few seconds later.

After Muertes was gone, Dario Cueto returned, sans Black Lotus, and introduced Matanza, his brother. Matanza plowed through the rest of the field like wheat chaff. I'm serious. This is not your run of the mill monster. Built like Abyss, but with a better moveset and workrate. This guy can do almost anything. Standing shooting star press. German suplexes. No one chanted "Suplex City!", though. Powerbombs (of course). Mysterio was the last hope, and he fell, as Fenix, Puma, Texano, and everyone else.

Winner & new champion: Matanza Cueto.

Dario's back in charge, which means more trouble for the LU technicos as long as Matanza is champion. Pentagon & Muertes will have a program. Cage & Mundo will continue theirs. Have to see who will team with Cage to offset Taya. This will be anything but boring.