4. Wade Barrett def. Sheamus due to interference from Jinder Mahal.
5. Ted DiBiase def. Hunico.
6. Santino Marella def. Drew McIntyre.
7. World title: Daniel Bryan NC Mark Henry.
Detailed Results
We're in Las Vegas, and tonight's show is billed as "Sin City Smackdown". Roughly translated, pilgrims, it's "Raw Roulette" on a different show.
We open with Daniel Bryan, following a recap of last week's main event. More whining and false accusations against Big Show. Crocodile tears, Daniel? Uh, no, that would be Chris Jericho on Raw on 1/9, son. The colossus isn't there tonight, but Bryan paints him as bitter. Riiiiiiiight. Bryan defends vs. Mark Henry in tonight's main event.
It's a party atmosphere backstage, and Aksana is dressed as a showgirl. Cody Rhodes takes the first spin of the roulette wheel, and it comes up "Player's Choice". They tease Ezekiel Jackson & Santino Marella as possible opponents, but Rhodes instead selects------Hornswoggle, who drops his cards once he realizes what's happened.......
1. Non-title: Cody Rhodes vs. Justin Gabriel (w/Hornswoggle).
Gabriel, seeing his new pal get bullied on the floor before the match begins, offers to take the leprechaun's place. After threatening to make it a showgirl match, which Cody's brother, Goldust had with William Regal several years ago, Gabriel gets his wish. One bad move, however, sets up Cross-Rhodes, and Cody wins again. Winner: Cody Rhodes.
{Author's note: The creative team needs to find a challenger for Rhodes, preferably yesterday, but they refuse.}
2. Non-title: Primo & Epico Colon vs. Jey & Jimmy Uso.
Off-air, Rosa Mendes chose a Texas Tornado tag match, which gives Booker T an excuse to demonstrate the newest WWE toy from Mattel, much to the amusement of Michael Cole. The Colon cousins won the titles from Air Boom in Oakland on 1/15, and have beaten the Usos before. Way too short. It ends as Jey is distracted by Rosa on the floor, enabling Primo to overpower him. Primo then saves Epico after a corkscrew Superfly Splash, then hits the backstabber on Jimmy. Winners: Primo & Epico Colon.
We learn that Mark Henry, or more specifically, Teddy Long, has picked a lumberjack match for the title bout.
3. Dance-off: Brodus Clay (w/the Funkettes) vs. Vickie Guerrero.
The Funkettes 2.0, in case you don't know, are NXT season 3 runner-up Naomi Night and Cameron (Ariane Andrew from Tough Enough). Each gets a turn as Brodus shares the spotlight. Vickie does a horrible attempt at the Robot. Cole brings up that even he beat Vickie in a dance contest. That ain't saying much. Lillian Garcia serves as MC for this, and somewhere in Orlando, Taz is wishing he was back for the party. As for the Funkettes, as Booker would say, shucky ducky quack-quack! This is a no-brainer. Winner: Brodus Clay.
William Regal comes out after, berating the fans for booing Vickie. Well, they know a dead act when they see one. William is challenged to dance, and pulls out a tribute to Alex Wright (ask about that mid-90's WCW midcard act). Clay hits him with Ahhh, Funk It! (Fall of Humanity), then apologizes. Regal earns hazard pay this week.
4. Wade Barrett vs. Sheamus.
It's a table match, something both men have some experience in. Again, way too short. The turning point comes when Jinder Mahal comes out and distracts Sheamus, enabling Barrett to ram the Celtic Warrior through the wood. Winner (though he shouldn't be): Wade Barrett.
Post-match, as Barrett slinks away, Mahal picks up the pieces, but Sheamus collects a receipt and sends Mahal through the wood.
5. Ted DiBiase vs. Hunico (w/Camacho).
Hunico won the first meeting, two weeks ago, but this time, it's a flag match. They weren't prepared for this, obviously. DiBiase tweaked his knee during the match, but still managed to hit Dream Street to immobilize Hunico long enough to claim Old Glory. Winner: Ted DiBiase.
6. Santino Marella vs. Drew McIntyre.
A blindfold match, billed as McIntyre's last chance. Santino even puts a hood over the cobra sleeve on his right hand. Better than you think, thanks to the pratfalls of both men. After a mashup on the floor, Santino loses the cobra's blindfold, and, guided by the fans, hits his finisher. Drew is outta here (but for how long?). Winner: Santino Marella.
7. World title: Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry.
This was a trainwreck of extreme proportions. Big Show was right. The title has changed Bryan, and it's for the worse. He's loathe to be touched by any of the lumberjacks, and reams out Tyler Reks & Curt Hawkins for no reason early on. Later, old "friend" Barrett shoves him in. Finally, Henry is sent out, and it's a gang mugging on the former champ, with Bryan, in the ring, getting some kicks in. However, the action spills inside. As Henry sets up the World's Strongest Slam, Cody Rhodes dropkicks Bryan to send Henry down, and then the dogpile forms around the World's Strongest Man. We get a preview of the Royal Rumble as Bryan slinks away with the title. Winner: None.
Teddy Long meets Bryan backstage, and, angry over the non-finish for the 2nd straight week, sets up a 3-way cage match for Bryan vs. Henry & Big Show at the Royal Rumble!!!
