Home / Results / Monday Night Raw / January 23, 2012

1. Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger def. CM Punk & John Cena when Ziggler pinned Punk due to a leverage violation and interference from John Laurinaitis.

2. Kane NC Zack Ryder.

3. Sheamus def. Jinder Mahal.

4. Brodus Clay def. Heath Slater.

5. R-Truth def. The Miz.

6. Non-title: CM Punk vs. John Laurinaitis never started.

We open tonight with CM Punk, who brings us up to speed on the conspiracy of collusion involving John Laurinaitis, Dolph Zigger, et al. John Cena joins him, demanding the following:

1. A match with Kane, 6 days before their bout at the Royal Rumble.
2. Zack Ryder in a rematch with Jack Swagger for the US title.
3. The resignation of Laurinaitis as acting GM.

Speak of the devil and who should appear but Laurinaitis himself. Refusing to enter the ring, Laurinaitis puts Ryder in with Kane in a falls count anywhere match and has Punk & Cena team in our opening bout........

1. CM Punk & John Cena vs. Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger (w/Vickie Guerrero).

After the heels did some bragging, Michael Cole lied for Swagger, claiming Swagger apologized to Ryder for stealing the US title last week. Yeah, sure, Cole, and you were a boy scout once. Cena was face in peril. Hot tag to Punk, who promptly destroys Ziggler after a springboard lariat and the kneelift/bulldog combo. However, it all goes downhill when Laurinaitis, who had a seat at ringside, took issue with Punk moving ref Mike Ciota out of the way. Ziggler rolled up Punk with a handful of tights for another illegal pin. "Winners": Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger.

This is getting old already. The correct call is to reverse the decision by sending a 2nd ref out, but when the corrupt acting GM is involved, what can you do? Punk's solution is to challenge Laurinaitis to a match for later, which the suntanned executive accepts.

Laurinaitis, however, forbade Cena from aiding Ryder in his match, else Ryder will be denied his rightful rematch for the US title. The correct call here is to void what happened last week, but that ain't happening, pilgrims. Backstage, Eve Torres is worried, while Mick Foley, making his lone appearance for the evening, gives Zack a little 411 on Kane. Not that it'll help. Cena is willing to defy the GM, but Zack won't hear of it. Good move......

Chris Jericho brought back the Highlight Reel, and finally decided to talk, after, of course, more stalling. A video montage of Jericho's three tours of WWE, from 1999-present, aired before Jericho declared that the world would end at the Royal Rumble. Yeah, sure, and now he thinks he's Harold Camping.

2. Falls Count Anywhere: Kane vs. Zack Ryder.

Laurinaitis claimed Zack was cleared this week, but his ribs are still taped. What a crock. Kane dominated, as expected, though Zack got some offense in. However, when they reached the stage, well, you knew something bad was coming. Kane chokeslammed Ryder through the stage and left him there, choosing not to go for the win. He began stalking Eve, and that's when Cena appeared, finally. Kane fled through the crowd. Ryder did a stretcher job, and Eve left with him in the ambulance. Winner: None.

Josh Mathews tried to get a word in with Cena, who swatted the mic away and stared into space.

3. Sheamus vs. Jinder Mahal.

Wade Barrett joined the announcers, but I had not a whit of interest in his banter. Same story between Mahal & Sheamus. Rinse & repeat. You'd think Mahal would figure out that growing a beard isn't the answer. Still a loser, KOd again by the Brogue Kick. Winner: Sheamus.

4. Brodus Clay vs. Heath Slater.

William Regal's dance moves were replayed from Friday, and Regal, who is the color analyst on NXT: Redemption, joins the announcers here. That tells me he will be feuding with Clay soon, if not already on the road. Slater was laughing as Clay's white pants got tangled up, but all he had for offense was a dropkick that the Funkasaurus sold for about 10 seconds. Awww, Funk It! You know the rest. Winner: Brodus Clay.

5. The Miz vs. R-Truth.

Backstage, Truth interrupted a Miz interview to mock his former pal's overblown self-hype. With the specs, he took Booker T's place as Whoopi Goldberg's younger brother. Best match on the show. Back & forth they went. Miz missed the wraparound lariat in the corner, and couldn't hit the Skull Crushing Finale. Truth hit Shut Up! for the finish. Winner: R-Truth.

Miz gets a reward though, thanks to a pre-match stip added by Laurinaitis. He will be the #1 entrant in the Royal Rumble, and he ain't going wire-to-wire.

6. Non-title: CM Punk vs. John Laurinaitis (w/David Otunga).

Before commercial, Otunga handed Laurinaitis a fax from HQ. Good news for the fans, bad for the GM. He gets the dreaded job evaluation next week, with Triple H returning. That spells trouble, and I don't think Punk's any safer. The match never started, as Laurinaitis wimped out, offering Otunga as a proxy. Otunga attacked, but let up long enough for Punk to take over and submit him with the Anaconda Vice. Laurinaitis made a bunch of excuses, trying to save his own hide, but then after Otunga was formally dispatched from the ring after a pair of kicks, the embattled executive offered a handshake, and got the GTS instead. Ziggler came back and got thet last word with the Zig Zag to end the show. Sorry, Dolph, you ain't winning the title on Sunday.