Wrestlemania is to WWE & pro wrestling in general what the Rose Bowl is to college football. The "grand-daddy of them all". The 24th annual edition, March 30 in Orlando, is missing something in terms of prestige. Style is being substituted with substance, not the other way around.

Beth Phoenix, Montel Porter, & Chris Jericho are all on the card, but they will not be defending their respective championships. Tag team co-titlist John Morrison is in the same boat. Time was when all of the championships were defended at Wrestlemania, but not anymore, especially this year, when gimmick matches have become much more important.

Consider Phoenix, the reigning women's champion. The Buffalo, NY native is in a lumberjill tag team match, partnered with the poser princess herself, Melina, vs. Playboy cover girls past & present, Candice Michelle & Maria Kanellis. As match MC Snoop Dogg might say, "now, wait just one minizzle". Candice, fresh from a stint on the disabled list, apparently reinjured her clavicle in her first match back last Monday. She's now questionable for the match, but the other ex-Playboy cover girls on the roster, Ashley Massaro & Torrie Wilson, are both on the DL with hand & back injuries, respectively. That means Candice may have to gut it out and risk a return trip to the DL. The only other alternative would be to change it to a singles match between Beth & Maria, at which point Vince McMahon might be forced to make it a title match. However, you have to ask yourself if Vince really has the inclination to do so.

Let's consider the match, then. The remaining divas from all three brands will serve as lumberjills, but the x factor remains Maria's estranged boyfriend, Santino Marella, who's spent more time being an annoying jerk than wrestling in recent weeks. There's been no real word on whether or not Marella has an injury, so let's assume that he is a goldbrick. If Marella gets involved, you know Jerry Lawler will leave the desk to counter. They need to build up either Candice for another run at Beth, or put Maria in that position. Either way, Team Jealousy loses.

As for Jericho, Porter, & Morrison, they're all entered in the 4th annual Money in the Bank ladder match. Jericho, the 8-time Intercontinental champ, will face MV-Me, the goldbricking US champ, on the 3/28 Smackdown, and you know that won't come to a rightful conclusion. After Porter's self-serving promo on Friday, he's all but assured of NOT winning the briefcase. Let's consider the field.

Chris Jericho (7-1): There were signs the last few weeks, including Monday's interview with Big Show, that Jericho was turning heel. They really can't do that at this juncture, with Jeff Hardy on the suspended list for a minimum of 60 days, and as it is, Jericho is one of just two babyfaces in the match. A win here jet-propels Jericho back into the main event for fresh feuds with either John Cena or Triple H, assuming they go ahead and turn Jericho post-Mania.

Montel V. Porter (10-1): If you want to define Porter's role in this match, it's as the proverbial fish out of water. While the rest of the field will prompt calls to air traffic control, Porter will stay at ground level. Unfortunately, that lack of aerial ability will also cost Porter dearly, as Matt Hardy, already back on the road, is overdue to return and resume his issue, which is why they've stalled on the US title for so long.

John Morrison (5-1): As far as the WWE tag champs go, Morrison is the better athlete, as we're so often reminded of his background in gymnastics, so it was a wise choice to include him in this field. He's a good candidate to win, but he & Mike Mizanin also need to find fresh challengers for the tag titles, since they've beaten every other team on Smackdown & ECW.

CM Punk (5-1): Like Morrison a former ECW champion, Punk was in this match last year and was in it right to the very end. Like Jericho, Punk could use the win here to get back into the title picture, but I don't see him staying in ECW much longer with the draft coming up next month. Instead, Mr. Straight Edge will be a bridesmaid again.

Carlito Colon (4-1): The former US & IC champion has shown flashes of brilliance, including his match last Monday vs. Punk. This is one of the reasons why Vince McMahon persuaded Carlito to stay at the end of last year. Another reason might be the Wrestlemania commercial he did with Maria, but that's another story.

Shelton Benjamin (3-1): Benjamin is the human highlight reel in this field, having been in the match two of the previous three years. He'll have the rest playing "Can You Top This?" trying to catch and ground him. ECW champ Chavo Guerrero will need a fresh opponent, and Benjamin fills the bill in my book.

Ken Kennedy (2-1): For the first time, the previous year's winner returns to the event. Kennedy was never able to cash it in, scammed out of the briefcase by Edge when Uncreative had a group panic attack because of an arm injury that wasn't quite as catastrophic to Kennedy as had originally been feared. Kennedy stated on the air that he would win again, but this time he'd cash it in the same night, to fulfill his promise from last year. Since they're hitting the reset button with the Undertaker, they might as well with Kennedy as well.

The picks: Bunnymania: Maria & Candice over Beth & Melina.
Money in the Bank IV: Ken Kennedy repeats.