Earlier, it was announced that Randy Orton & Jeff Hardy would shake hands in the middle of the ring, per Vince McMahon. Orton meets with the insane chairman, questioning the logic of this move. Vince explains that when he shakes someone's hand that he despises, he now has to carry hand sanitizer. Please. He counsels Orton on the competitive advantage that can be brought from a mere handshake, and the perception that Hardy cannot beat Orton for the WWE title. Hmmmm.

Match 2: Beth Phoenix vs. Mickie James (non-title) By all rights, this should be a title match (What is Uncreative thinking?), especially in the home area of a 3-time former champion. Naturally, being in front of the homies actually puts Mickie at a disadvantage, given the booking mentality on Raw the last few years. At first, it's even, with Mickie taking the fight right to the champion, but Beth is simply too powerful to overcome. She hangs Mickie on the top rope, then hoists her up for the fisherman buster to end it. Winner: Beth Phoenix.

Todd Grisham interviews Triple H, who gets off a crack about Vince and a team of industrial makeup artists and spacklers who have to cover the chairman's various liver spots. Seriously, Hunter points out that a number of recent Royal Rumble winners, himself included, have gone on to win the championship at Wrestlemania. He "guaradamntees" he'll be in the Rumble on Sunday after winning tonight. The camera zooms in on the eyes of the Cerebral Assassin as we go to break.

And while we're on the subject of the Rumble, that brings us to Cody Rhodes & Brian Kendrick chatting backstage. Kendrick has a qualifying match later. Bob "Hardcore" Holly happens along, checking to make sure Rhodes will be in his corner for a rematch with Carlito later. Rhodes found it amusing that Holly wore a Carlito wig two weeks ago, and posted a picture on his MySpace page. Holly warns that if anyone enters his space at the Rumble, including Rhodes, out they go.

Randy Orton video pack up now, chronicling his current run.

Match 3: Hornswoggle & Finlay vs. the Highlanders Squashola! Seems the McAllisters were just passing through ECW, if you will, last week. They're back on Raw, and in a familiar spot, flat on their backs. Minimal offense for the Scots vs. the Fighting Irishmen. If you blinked, it was over, as 'Swoggle put away Rory with the tadpole splash, then dumped Robbie over the top post-match for good measure. Winners: Hornswoggle & Finlay.

When last we saw Chris Jericho, John Bradshaw Layfield tried to hang him off a light stand two weeks ago. Now, Y2J is back, and you know he's got the 10 gallon blowhard on his mind. Unfortunately, JBL decided not to show up, contradicting his own remarks last week about Jericho being a coward. Well, look who's the chicken this week? Jericho is being serious here, as he talks about having to comfort his 4 year old son, and seeing doubt in the lad's eyes. When JBL & Y2J meet at the Rumble, it's going to be a fight, not a wrestling match.

Jeff Hardy meets with Vince, who berates him for the Swanton last week, citing the fiscal investment he's made. However, Jeff assures the chairman that he'll go through with the handshake, and give the people something to talk about.....

Match 4: Brian Kendrick vs. Umaga William Regal appears on the new TitanTron to inform Kendrick of his opponent. JR wonders what Kendrick did to deserve this kind of fate. So do I. We've gone back to a basic Umaga match from 2006, where he barely sells his opponent's offense, if at all. He withstands Kendrick's assault, but takes control with a gorilla press into a Samoan drop, then hits the spike, hoisting Kendrick into the air to deliver the move, rather needless, if you ask me. Winner: Umaga.

Mickie James is backstage, crying, as Maria joins her. Mickie's discouraged after repeated losses to Beth Phoenix. Ashley joins them, and Mickie abruptly leaves. Ashley, now with pink & yellow hair, begins to regale Maria with a tale of a visit to the Playboy mansion, only to be interrupted by Santino Marella, who whisks Maria away. Who did Ashley's hair? Jeff Hardy?

One year ago, Donald Trump was asked to appear on Raw in order to cross-promote with his series, "The Apprentice". This Thursday, Vince McMahon finally returns the favor when he guests on "Celebrity Apprentice".

Jerry Lawler is wearing 3D glasses, thinking they also work in HD. Silly.

Jeff Hardy vidpack is running, and the handshake is coming.

Match 5: Carlito (w/Santino Marella & Maria) vs. Hardcore Holly (w/Cody Rhodes) Return match from Raw Roulette III two weeks ago. Pretty even, as Holly has things going his way, with Carlito struggling to find his offense. Help comes as Holly sets up for the Alabama Slam, but Santino gets up on the apron. Rhodes, though, cuts that off, but the distraction pays off as Carlito hits the Backstabber to get the win back. Winner: Carlito.

Match 6: Triple H vs. ???? (over-the-top gauntlet match) Pre-match, clips were shown of HHH winning the 2002 Royal Rumble. William Regal comes out to the stage, and announces that this will be a gauntlet match, with the first man out being Snitsky, who beat HHH via DQ last week. The hygenically challenged Pennsylvania native, however, is unable to make it 2 in a row, as he's quickly dispatched after crotching himself on the top rope, missing a kick. Next up is Mark Henry. The World's Strongest Man batters Helmsley from stem to stern, if you will, crushing him with a corner splash. However, Hunter's too close to the ropes, and low-bridges Henry out. Regal motions as if there's another man waiting, saying "no". The GM then drops the mic and removes his jacket, charging to the ring as the last competitor. The bull rush works at first, but Regal is taken out just as quickly with a spinebuster, then tossed over the top. Winner: Triple H.

Never has a simple handshake between two men become so important than this. Vince McMahon is out to moderate things, if you will. He introduces both champion & challenger. JR mis-speaks when he says that Hulk Hogan had held both the IC & WWE titles. That was Ultimate Warrior, back in 1990, not Hogan. Vince leaves and lets the two gladiators take center stage. Orton admits Hardy's earned his respect, and that the image of that super-size Swanton last week is ingrained in his mind. Hardy, though, doesn't care about respect. The Swanton was out of revenge for his brother, and he has waited too long for this moment. He can think of a lot of people he'd shake hands with ahead of Orton, and to illustrate the point, he starts with JR, the King, Lillian Garcia, and some ringsiders. Perhaps sensing that a handshake might lead to an RKO, Hardy decides not to go through with it, and boots Orton in the gut. For the 2nd time in the last month, Orton is left lying after a Twist of Fate. Hardy is standing tall to end the show.