 Tonight, we're plausibly live (on 2 hour tape delay) for the first of two shows from Austin, Texas. Randy Orton is in the ring to start, and has a contract for John Cena to sign to certify their title fight at No Way Out on 2/17. Cena has to face Smackdown's Mark Henry later in an arm wrestling match. Cena doesn't waste any time signing the contract, and Orton tells him that regardless of the outcome tonight, the title fight is on. Henry, showing no ill effects after being choked out by Undertaker on Smackdown, comes out. Cena turns to meet him, but Orton vaults over the desk and hits the RKO. After the commercial, Orton & Henry are interviewed by Todd Grisham. GM William Regal made the arm wrestling match, and Orton "didn't know" about Henry's run-in, but took advantage. Henry said he'll enjoy ripping Cena's shoulder out of its socket. We'll see.
Match 1: Mickie James & Kelly Kelly vs. Victoria & Beth Phoenix 1st match out of the gate is an interpromotional women's tag. Kelly has shown some marked improvement of late, but the story here isn't about her, but rather Mickie, who's looking to get back into the title picture. Pretty even match. Once Kelly tags out to Mickie, we don't see the ECW cutie again the rest of the way. Victoria makes sure of that by spearing her off the apron. However, Vic loses track of Mickie, who'd cracked heads with Beth moments before, and Mickie takes advantage, climbing the turnbuckles to deliver a tornado DDT. Winners: Mickie James & Kelly Kelly.William Regal is backstage with Hornswoggle. Seems the little guy is being inducted into Vince's dreaded "Kiss My Ass Club" later. Uh-oh! Next out is Shawn Michaels, who talks about his runner-up finish in last year's Royal Rumble, among other things, but the bottom line is, he's tired of finishing 2nd and being unsatisfied. He puts the other competitors in the Raw Elimination Chamber on notice. Four of them---Chris Jericho, Jeff Hardy, JBL, & Umaga---disagree. Snitsky, who's not in the chamber, comes out and says he wants in because everyone else has "had their chances". A brawl breaks out, and Regal comes back out to set up a 6-man co-feature.
Match 2: Mr. Kennedy vs. Super Crazy El squashola! Kennedy works on the legs of Crazy from the go, and gets a quick submission with a inverted figure four leglock. Winner: Mr. Kennedy. Post-match, Kennedy cuts a promo on Ric Flair, and shows footage of the assault committed by MVP on Friday. Kennedy invites Flair to appear next week to "forfeit" their No Way Out match. I think we know the answer to that one. Mike Adamle previews the Elimination Chamber. 'Nuff said.
Match 3: Brian Kendrick & Paul London vs. Santino Marella & Carlito (w/Maria) Squashola #2. London & Marella never tagged into the match. We know that London's been nursing a foot injury and probably can't do much. Marella apparently is also similarly hobbled, hence his tactics the last three weeks. He splits the ropes to send Kendrick flying. London gives chase, but as Brian crawls back in, Carlito finishes him off with the Backstabber. Winners: Santino Marella & Carlito. Vince McMahon is having his ass buffed. The KMAC reopens next. If there's anyone that's more in need of psychiatric attention than, say for example, Britney Spears, it would be Vince McMahon. The insane chairman cuts a promo, ripping the adults for being bad parents and characterizing the kids as spoiled brats. It takes a while, but Hornswoggle comes out. However, either he doesn't quite understand this idea of tough love, or he has heard about its sordid history. Either way, he's not about to lower himself by complying. Finlay comes out, and gives his little pal some advice. 'Swoggle, instead of kissing his "father"'s rear, bites it. Angered, Vince makes a match for next week---himself vs. 'Swoggle, and of course it's no-DQ, but if Finlay gets involved, he's gone. Fired, that is. Bit by bit, the facade is fading for Vince, and it's about time.
Match 4: Cody Rhodes & Hardcore Holly vs. Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch (non-title) Good to see Cade back from the DL. Murdoch's been doing pretty well for himself wrestling in singles on Heat of late, but after a disaster teaming with Charlie Haas a few weeks back, he's happy to have Cade back as well. Unfortunately, they don't get to make too much of an impression in what amounts to another squash. Late in the match, Holly tags in Rhodes, who promptly hits a bulldog on Murdoch for 2. He goes for a suplex, but Cade blocks, which gets Holly over to send Cade packing. Before Trev can even consider taking advantage, Cody ends this with a DDT. The end. Winners: Cody Rhodes & Hardcore Holly. Post-match, Carlito, Maria, & Santino return, and Carlito reveals that he & Santino are the new #1 contenders. He might be better off paying for Santino's Berlitz courses. Marella likens the champions' chances of retaining vs. him & Carlito to the chance of Maria posing for Playboy. Poor analogy, that.
A group of divas, including Maria, Michelle McCool, Candice Michelle, & Layla, will guest on "Project Runway" on Wednesday on USA's sister network, Bravo. JR & the King run down the No Way Out card so far.
Match 5: Jeff Hardy, Shawn Michaels, & Chris Jericho vs. John Bradshaw Layfield, Umaga, & Snitsky Easily the match of the night. Rare is the opportunity for Snitsky to be in a main event match, so of course he comes across as being the square peg in a round hole. Prior to the commercial, HBK, Y2J, & Hardy hit simultaneous planchas on the floor to a phat pop. Back from break, however, and Jericho is the face in peril. Hot tag to Hardy, and the merry-go-round begins to spin as the IC champ is in with Snitsky. Jeff hits the Whisper in the Wind, but JBL saves. Jericho hit the Code Breaker on JBL. Umaga with the Samoan Spike to Jericho, but then HBK struck with the superkick. Snitsky gets rid of Michaels, but that leaves Hardy, who connects with the Twist of Fate and the Swanton Bomb. Winners: Jeff Hardy, Shawn Michaels, & Chris Jericho.
As noted earlier, Candice Michelle will be on "Project Runway" later this week, but she's soon to come off the DL and return to Raw.
Match 6: John Cena vs. Mark Henry (arm wrestling) On paper, Henry, the World's Strongest Man and a 1996 Olympic weightlifter, should have a sizeable advantage. Unfortunately, this isn't going according to Hoyle, as the saying goes. Henry stalls, then takes a swipe at Cena's injured pec muscle. Cena threw aside his cap. I was expecting him to channel Sylvester Stallone in "Over the Top" and turn the cap backwards. They finally hook up, and Henry, understandably, has Cena in peril. However, the former champion comes back and is about to put Henry away when, predictably, Randy Orton comes out and attacks Cena. Orton scoots out of the ring, but Cena avoids a charge by Henry as the ref clears out the arm wrestling table, so the strongman can eat an FU. Winner: Assume it's Cena via DQ, though the ref never called for the bell.
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