Vicki Guerrero was "injured" taking a 619 meant for Edge at Royal Rumble, so let Theodore Long holla at you, playas! Teddy's back in charge tonight, and rightfully, he should be the official GM, not the power-mad widow. Anyway, Teddy has added 2 matches to the No Way Out card:

World title rematch: Edge vs. Rey Mysterio
Smackdown/ECW Elimination Chamber: Undertaker vs. Finlay vs. Batista vs. MVP vs. Big Daddy V vs. Great Khali.

Yes, there will be 2 Elimination Chambers at No Way Out. Talk about overkill! Edge comes out to protest, but Teddy tells him it's not personal, just business. Holla!

Match 1: Ric Flair vs. Montel Vontavious Porter (non-title) Return match from Royal Rumble. The Flair retirement tour hits Reading, Pa., and MVP is not in a good mood. It has to do with the fact he had Flair pinned on Sunday, but ref Charles Robinson caught sight of Flair's foot on the rope at the last second and ordered a restart. The rest is history. The bulk of Flair's offense tonight, though, consists of his legendary chops. MVP doesn't even use some of his usual moves, and this is over a little too quickly. Flair hits the figure four, but almost as quickly as it's applied, Porter reverses. Flair forces a rope break, but Porter is unwilling to comply, and defies senior ref Mickey Henson's count. Henson calls for the bell, and Flair continues on. Winner: Ric Flair via DQ.

Post-match, however, Porter continues the assault and slams Flair's left leg into the post several times before jamming it between the steps and the apron. Flair has to be helped to the back.

A week ago, Chuck Palumbo laid out his two partners, Jamie Noble & Michelle McCool. Tonight, Palumbo rides out to the ring alone. He cuts a promo, referring to himself in the 3rd person, a la the Rock back in the day. Then he gets "serious" and reveals that he was fined "$10,000" for striking a ref who happened to cross his path while "bringing the crazy". He calls out Michelle, who reportedly suffered a concussion and whiplash. Michelle answers, rubbing her neck and walking slowly. No neck brace for this girl. Vicki Guerrero should take notes. Michelle won't accept Chuck's apology, and slaps him in the face. Chuck, who had blamed Noble for his problems before, now claims it's Michelle's fault, too, and promises to take it out on Noble next time, and plans on making Michelle watch. Creepy.

Match 2: Rey Mysterio & CM Punk vs. Chavo Guerrero & Edge 2nd return match in a row, this one from January 18. At that time, Punk was the ECW champ, but lost that championship 4 days later through illicit means. Then, Edge beat him last Friday. However, Punk has turned it around, putting the heat back on Chavo. Easily the best match on the show. Rey is face in peril for large chunks of time as Guerrero & Edge continue to work over Rey's left leg, the same leg that was surgically repaired more than a year ago. Mysterio finally makes the tag to Punk, who cuts loose on Guerrero, and gives Edge a receipt along the way. Rey has both opponents lined up for a double 619, but Edge again is unwilling to risk himself in this spot and wriggles out. Mysterio dials 619 on Chavo, then hits a springboard crossbody on Edge on the floor. Punk ends it by putting Chavo to sleep, GTS style. Winners: Rey Mysterio & CM Punk.

Match 3: Finlay & Hornswoggle vs. Deuce 'N' Domino (w/Cherry) Once again, the former tag team champs, who were one of the hottest teams in the company, get no entrance. Vince McMahon intercepts the Irish team before the match and rips into both over the Royal Rumble. Finlay, it turns out, values loyalty & friendship more than perhaps a championship opportunity. McMahon thinks it's stupid. But you have to remember, Finlay & Hornswoggle have been a team a little bit longer than 'Swoggle found out he was Vince's "bastard son". 'Swoggle decides to have a little fun at Cherry's expense, and takes a peek under her skirt. Finlay says "boo", and Cherry falls over the back of the former cruiser champion. When 'Swoggle gets in trouble, however, the "Great Protector" kicks it into overdrive. Domino, unfortunately, drew the short straw, if you know what I mean and I think you do. Celtic Cross sets up the Tadpole Splash, and the former tag champs take another loss. Winners: Finlay & Hornswoggle.

Raw Rebound: The return of John Cena. No one saw it coming.

2007 Diva Search winner Eve Torres debuts and interviews Batista in the ring. She only asks one question, what Batista's thoughts are about the Elimination Chamber. Batista turns it into a simple promo. He puts over Cena and Triple H as his friends, and as the two who eliminated him in the Royal Rumble. He is the only man in the Smackdown field who's been in the Chamber before, and for that reason he's confident that he will win and advance to Wrestlemania.

Jesse tells us that Festus has been "cured", and will return next week.

Match 4: Zack Ryder & Curt Hawkins vs. Shannon Moore & Jimmy Wang Yang Last week, I questioned why the Edgeheads hadn't competed in a straight tag match since aligning themselves with Edge. Well, WWE Uncreative must've been paying attention because here they are. In order to tell the two apart, Hawkins has a ponytail. Ryder is almost a dead ringer for Edge the way he wears his hair. Pretty good match that, like Flair-MVP, deserved more time. Yang was face in peril, grounded by the Edgeheads. Moore gets the hot tag and rallies while Yang takes out Ryder with a pescado on the floor. Moore, however, misfires with a corkscrew moonsault and Hawkins capitalizes with an elevated inverted DDT. Winners: Zack Ryder & Curt Hawkins.

Match 5: Mark Henry & Big Daddy V (w/Matt Striker) vs. Kane & Undertaker This spins out of last week's Undertaker-Big Daddy match, when BDV tapped to a figure four choke, then ended up spitting up blood. Henry took issue with that, and that leads to this match. Undertaker is announced as weighing in at 299, or 1/3 of Henry & BDV's combined weight. Michael Cole & Jon Coachman sell the idea that we should savor this occasion, since Kane & Undertaker don't tag up too often anymore. Decent stuff. Henry blocked off Old School once, but Taker landed on his feet and booted the Olympic strongman halfway to Allentown. Henry carried most of the offense for his team, as they tried to sell the idea that BDV didn't want any part of Undertaker after what happened last week. Taker hit Old School and went for the cover, but BDV saved, only to pay a price with a double chokeslam. Henry was then chokeslammed, and after that Taker applied the figure four choke. Henry taps out to end it, and like Big Daddy last week, Henry is spitting up blood. Winners: Kane & Undertaker.