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| Match-by-match results
and television rating of this edition of TNA iMPACT. |
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| Quick Results |
Voodoo Kin Mafia & Lance Hoyt def. Serotonin
James Storm, Robert Roode, Eric Young def. Jay
Lethal, Petey Williams, Sonjay Dutt
Samoa Joe, Kurt Angle, Rhino def. Christian,
Tomko, Scott Steiner |
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| Detailed Results |
After the usual recap of key issues, we open the show proper
with Kurt Angle & Samoa Joe already in the ring. Angle
does all the talking. He & Joe want Christian Cage &
Scott Steiner right here and now. Cage, Steiner, & Tomko
come out to the stage, and officially are now known as the
Christian Coalition. Cage used to use that name to describe
his fan base in WWE, alternately known as "peeps".
Cage challenges Angle & Joe to find a partner for the
main event. In the course of his speech, Angle said he'd be
Joe's "biggest fan" on Sunday vs. Cage, and that
if Joe wins the NWA title, they'd get to settle their differences.
Voodoo Kin Mafia & Lance Hoyt vs. Serotonin.
Squashola. Serotonin didn't get much offense in, but the two
teams paired off in and out of the ring. The match ended with
Hoyt hitting the Texas Tornado Slam (front F5) on Maverick
Matt Bentley. Oh, I realize they've changed the names of Bentley,
Johnny Devine, & Frankie Kazarian in this gimmick, but
it's a waste of time, since Serotonin hasn't won a match yet.
Post-match, Raven came out and caned his bumbling charges.
Winners: Voodoo Kin Mafia & Lance Hoyt.
Jeremy Borash is backstage with Tomko, Cage, & Steiner.
Since Angle hinted that his partner would be "a little
bit crazy", Cage thinks it's Abyss, who attacked Joe
last week with the Black Hole Slam. Steiner asks if Cage is
on crack. Pretty funny. Cage decides he wants to talk to Abyss,
but Tomko & Steiner actually agree on something. They
don't want any part of the monster, and Tomko reminds that
per last week, Cage owes him a title match.
After the break, Borash has joined Mike Tenay, So Cal Val,
and another TNA rep in the ring to present an award to Hector
Guerrero, who has offiicially joined the TNA roster. Guerrero
has dyed his hair and now closely resembles his late brother
Eddie. But before Val can give Guerrero the plaque, here comes
Abyss. Val gives the monster the plaque, but he instead hits
a 2-handed Black Hole Slam on Val. This was totally inexcusable.
Typical Russo.
Lots of commotion in Jim Cornette's office. Cornette confirms
the Chris Sabin-Jerry Lynn X division title rematch. He also
gives James Storm & Jackie Moore a double bullrope match
vs. Petey Williams & Gail Kim (another rematch from last
month). Mr. Bob Backlund wanted to officiate the match between
Senshi & Austin Starr, but Cornette won't allow that.
Instead, the match is now a crossface chicken wing match.
That's the only way to win the bout. Starr or Senshi has to
make the other tap to the chicken wing. Backlund's loving
this and leaves. Christy Hemme says she has a team and wants
them to face Voodoo Kin Mafia. Cornette grants that wish,
too.
James Storm (w/Jackie Moore), Robert Roode & Eric
Young (w/Ms. Brooks) vs. Jay Lethal, Sonjay Dutt, & Petey
Williams. Once again, Lethal indulges the wishes
of Dutt and seemingly everyone else, including Young but not
his teammates, and does a quick Macho Man mimic. Roode breaks
that up, and the match gets underway. Near the end, Gail Kim
comes down and starts a catfight with Moore. Storm hits the
superkick on Dutt to collect the pin, but the bigger story
is the catfight. Strangely, Ms. Brooks isn't getting involved.
Winners: James Storm, Robert Roode, & Eric Young.
Cage & Borash have found Abyss. When Cage mentions Sting's
name, Abyss goes berserk. It gets to the point where the cowardly
champ leaves Borash behind to be choked out and locked in
the boiler room.
Christian Coalition (Christian Cage, Scott Steiner,
& Tomko) vs. Samoa Joe, Kurt Angle, Rhino. About
3:00 into the match, AJ Styles runs in and draws Rhino's attention.
Why that didn't merit a DQ right then and there, I don't know.
Styles leads the war machine up to the Elevation X scaffold.
Back from break, the Coalition takes over, but Rhino makes
the hot tag to Angle. Suplex city. Everyone hits their finishers.
Angle's about to apply the anklelock to Steiner when Abyss
comes in and attacks the Olympian, finally resulting in a
DQ. Angle eats a Black Hole Slam. Sting appears first above
each of the entrance ramps, then shows up in the ring, and
the battle is joined as we sign off. Winners: Samoa Joe, Kurt
Angle, & Rhino via DQ. |
| Location:
Orlando, Florida |
| Commentary:
Mike Tenay & Don West |
| Report by:
2xzone.com Staff Member J.C. Gilbert |
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