No theme music tonight. We open immediately with John Cena, still the WWE champion after a bloody battle with tag partner Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania. Cena gets a mixed reaction coming out, and he barely starts talking before the DX theme hits and HBK joins him. Shawn wants a rematch, and Cena's more than willing to grant the request. Unfortunately, professional buzzkiller Jonathan Coachman comes out. The tag titles will instead be on the line in not one but two 10-team battle royals.

John Cena/ Shawn Michaels vs. Cryme Tyme, King Booker & Finlay (w/Queen Sharmell), Highlanders, Hacksaw Duggan & Eugene, Chris Masters & Kenny Dykstra, Matt Striker & Elijah Burke, Rob Van Dam & Sabu, Deuce & Domino (w/Cherry), and William Regal & Dave Taylor.[World tag team title battle royal, round 1] My first thought was, this would be a good way to take the tag titles off Cena & HBK without having them do an actual job. It just took longer than it should have. The last two challenger teams were RVD & Sabu and Booker & Finlay. Booker pushed Van Dam off the top as Rob looked like he was ready to try a 5-Star Frogsplash. Finlay then sent Sabu packing. It came down to Cena vs. Booker, and Michaels sealed the deal by superkicking Booker off the apron. Winners of round 1: John Cena & Shawn Michaels.

John Cena/Shawn Michaels vs. Mike Mizanin & Johnny Nitro, Hardys, Marcus Cor Van & Kevin Thorn (w/Ariel), Sandman & Tommy Dreamer, Val Venis & Viscera, Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch, Gregory Helms & Chavo Guerrero, Brian Kendrick & Paul London. [Round] Ok, now it gets interesting with the WWE tag titlists from Smackdown entered in the match. They're also experimenting with a MNM 2.0 with Miz replacing Joey Mercury. Unfortunately, the other M in the equation, Melina, is not at ringside. Turning point comes when Michaels eliminates Mizanin with the superkick, but then a few seconds later turns on Cena for the 2nd time in as many weeks and sends Cena out. That ensures we have new champions. It comes down to the Hardys vs. Cade & Murdoch, a grand total of 6 World tag team titles between the two teams. Cade gets knocked beneath the ropes. Using Matt as a springboard, Jeff dropkicks Murdoch off the top turnbuckle and to the floor. For the first time in what seems like forever, the Hardys sit atop the tag team mountain. Winners and new World tag team champions: The Hardys.

Here's another kind of buzzkiller. After the two-part battle royal, we pause for a recap of Wrestlemania 23. Backstage, Todd Grisham talks to HBK, who says being tag team champs confused Cena, muddied the waters. Enter Randy Orton, who wants his shot at the WWE title. That would set up a #1 contender's match that will take place next week. Chairman Wackjob is backstage, but we're seeing things from his point of view. Coach has to guide him down toward the arena. En route, Vince elicits some positive praise from Maria & Candice Michelle. Cryme Tyme & Eugene are now doing something, but Eugene is trying to keep from laughing. His hair's starting to grow back two weeks after Crazy Vinnie shaved his head. Next is Ron Simmons, and despite Vince's attempts to keep him quiet, Simmons manages to say his magic word.

Vince comes out wearing a hat. If only he had any actual singing ability, he might get away with being mistaken for Bing Crosby. Of course, there are also the comparisons to the legendary college football coach, Paul "Bear" Bryant. I digress. Vince convinces Lillian to announce him as the winner of the Battle of the Billionaires. Yep, the man is insane enough to try to almost immediately employ revisionist history. He decides that Umaga & Bobby Lashley will meet again, but this time with Lashley's ECW title on the line. Lashley comes out and just takes the hat. McMahon tries to cover up with a towel, Jerrry Lawler's crown, JR's Resistol hat, and finally by hiding under Lillian's skirt. Lashley removes the skirt, revealing that Lil may actually have been wearing a leotard. McMahon flees.

Ric Flair & Carlito (w/Torrie Wilson) vs. World's Greatest Tag Team. While Lil is changing outfits, Todd Grisham takes over the ring announcing. Pre-match, we're shown footage of Flair & Carlito beating Helms & Guerrero in the pre-show bonus match last night. Carlito is in most of the way as a face in peril, and the former 2-time WWE champs work him over pretty heavy. After a springboard elbow finds its mark on Benjamin, Carlito makes the hot tag to Flair. JR refers to those legendary chops as the "Ric Flair Electric Company". Pretty funny. Charlie Haas, however, takes control, and sets up Flair for a leapfrog from Benjamin that never connects. Carlito cuts off Benjamin, then hits a chop block on Haas. Flair follows with a chop block of his own, then locks on the figure 4. Haas taps out. Could we see Hardys vs. Flair & Carlito down the road? Winners: Ric Flair & Carlito.

Great Khali vs. Super Crazy. Lil's back to resume her duties. That's the only good news about this match. El squashola. Winner: Great Khali.

Todd Grisham interviews rapper/producer Timbaland, who'd been rumored to appear at Wrestlemania, but didn't, I think. Timbaland plans to have some Divas appear in one of his music videos, and mentions Ashley by name.

Women's champ Melina is out, and decides to have a special photo-op after cheating to beat Ashley. Mickie James spoils the fun and plants the poser princess with a MickieDT. I smell a 3-way dance at Backlash.

Maria conducts a quick interview with the Hardys. Not much to be said. But is someone going to Smackdown in exchange for Matt? Clips are shown of the Detroit premiere of "The Condemned", with fan comments, plus Cena, Ken Kennedy, Candice, & HHH. Meanwhile, Chairman Wackjob is pacing back and forth. Armando Estrada tries to calm him down, and all that gets him is an entry into the main event----as Umaga's partner. Uh-oh!

Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga & Armando Estrada (ECW title). About all Estrada did was sweat and collect a few near falls after Umaga did all the damage. Otherwise, he was just window dressing until the bitter end. Lashley blocked the Samoan spike and made his comeback. He speared Umaga halfway to Cleveland, then went after Estrada. He avoided a splash by Umaga, who nailed his handler instead. One Dominator later, and it was over. Estrada was, predictably, the designated jobber. Jerry Lawler called the match by himself with JR losing his voice. Winner: Bobby Lashley.