No theme music again tonight. Instead, we start with Jonathan Coachman, who introduces Chairman Wackjob, ECW Champion Vince McMahon. The senile chairman is still trying to be hip, and failing. He puts over what Great Khali did to John Cena, Shawn Michaels, Edge, & Randy Orton last week, but before he can officially mint Khali as the next challenger for Cena, HBK has other ideas, and that sets up a #1 contender match for later tonight. Shawn departs from the stage, and Bobby Lashley makes his way out. Lashley gets his rematch vs. Chairman Wackjob, Shane, & Umaga at Judgment Day. We'd later learn that it will also be 3-on-1 vs. Rob Van Dam tomorrow on ECW because Vince won't defend the title alone. What a coward! Lashley can't touch McMahon until May 20, but Coach is another story. Coach is laid out, then speared on the floor.

Mickie James & Candice Michelle vs. Victoria & Melina.
Return match from last week, which Team LA is dismissing as a fluke, according to Jerry Lawler. For all of her improvements in the ring, Candice still is sloppy at times. Candice wins it again, this time putting away Melina with a spin kick. Winners: Mickie James & Candice Michelle.

Santino Marella vs. Chris Masters (Intercontinental title). They've tested this matchup on the road recently. Didn't quite catch Marella's weight, but he looks small enough to fit into the cruiser division over on Smackdown. On paper, this would be a mismatch favoring the challenger, but not the case here. Marella brought Masters down to size with kicks, and got a near fall with an enziguri. Masters missed a corner charge, and Marella rolled him up for the pinfall. Winner: Santino Marella.

Randy Orton is interviewed. Simply put, the "Legend Killer" is looking to get his career and life back on track, and a non-title match vs. John Cena might be a good place to start.

Shawn Michaels vs. Great Khali. (#1 contender's match-no DQ). Not much to this one, really. Michaels got as much of his moveset in as early as possible, and the only weapon that was used was a chair by Michaels. He got Khali down long enough to hit the elbow off the top, but that was the end of HBK's offense. Khali blocked the superkick and chopped Shawn on the head. To the floor they go, and Shawn tries a DDT, but that is blocked. Khali put Shawn through the announce table with the tree slam, and ref Chad Patten calls a halt to this match. Winner: Great Khali via referee stop.

Mr. Ken Kennedy visits to let us know the countdown is on. Little do fans at the arena know that Kennedy suffered a tricep injury over the weekend that will change everything and render the countdown meaningless. Later, Edge confronts Kennedy, and a match is made for later.

Umaga vs. the Highlanders. Think back to when the McAllisters had a similar situation vs. Khali a while back. Simply substitute the more mobile, athletic Umaga for Khali. Total squash. Winner: Umaga.

Todd Grisham interviews John Cena. Cena treats Grish the way the Rock used to abuse Coach and other interviewers. Cena gets off a priceless crack about Khali saying the only thing great about the Bengali Bruiser are his skid marks in the toilet bowl. You know the drill

The Homeboy Shopping Network is back. Well, at least it's now being run by Cryme Tyme, who offer up some Mother's Day gift ideas that they pilfered from Viscera (a steak dinner), Eugene (medication---we didn't really need to know about this), and Ron Simmons (a Hummer), which is the punch line all by itself. DAMN!

Hardys vs. World's Greatest Tag Team (non-title). Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch are back to do color, still trying to earn the respect of the champs. Amazingly, no "Delta Farce" jokes for Murdoch. We've seen better from the Hardys & WGTT, and this match just went by too quickly. Matt eliminates Shel Benjamin with the Twist of Fate while Jeff finishes Charlie Haas with the Swanton Bomb. Goodnight, nurse! Winners: The Hardys. Post-match, Cade & Murdoch finally get the handshakes from the champs. The trap will be sprung next week.

Carlito & Torrie Wilson are out for an interview. Ric Flair's in Las Vegas for a company function, but Carlito tries calling out the Nature Boy anyway. He then cuts a promo on Flair, then decides to kick Torrie to the curb, cutting a promo on her and the crowd entirely in Spanish. Figure Flair-Carlito for Judgment Day.

Edge vs. Mr. Kennedy (Money in the Bank). In reality, the match never got going. Edge, jealous of HBK getting the #1 contender's match, and unwilling to admit he was hurt by Khali's actions last week, ambushed Kennedy as the Smackdown rep was coming down the ramp. Edge blasted Kennedy in the face with a TV monitor. Ref Chad Patten tried to convince Kennedy to call it off, but Kennedy insisted on going through with it. Big mistake. One spear was all Edge needed. This will cover Kennedy going on the DL for the 2nd straight year. Winner: Edge.

John Cena vs. Randy Orton (non-title). I look at my watch, and the time is 10:59. Not enough time to make this mean anything, either. Orton had his moments, but was otherwise squashed until Khali came out and stole the WWE title belt. Cena lost focus, allowing Orton one last burst. Cena reversed and hit the STFU. Orton made the ropes. Instead of continuing the match, Cena went after Khali, who simply turned and hit Cena with the belt. End of show. Winner: None announced.