The survivor, of course, is WWE Champion John Cena, who handed Great Khali his first pinfall loss at One Night Stand. Cena gives a shout out to the fans, saying they're the ones who make it happen with their intensity, passion, et al. Cena's reverie is interrupted, however, by the deranged lunatic. That would be Chairman Wackjob, Vince McMahon, who is acting rather oddly. I've said for months that the character of "Mr. McMahon" has been out to lunch, but he's worse than ever. He seems to think Cena's the one rubbing it in his face that he lost to Bobby Lashley. Cena tries to reason with him, even going so far as to suggest, yes, that the chairman is delusional. Chairman Wackjob makes a triple threat main event. Cena vs. Khali vs. Umaga. Cena's shaking his head over this one. He knows the boss is loopy, but this is flat ridiculous.

Johnny Nitro, Melina, & Kenny Dykstra vs. Candice Michelle & Cryme Tyme.Candice comes out dressed like Cryme Tyme, and even has their dance moves down. Extreme Expose should be jealous. Anyway, the girls never tagged in, and only got involved late in the match. Started with Nitro & JTG. Frequent tags between the heels, but then Shad Gaspard is tagged in and just explodes with clotheslines, and even hits the Snake Eyes/boot to the head combo Undertaker uses. Ref's busy with Dykstra & JTG, so Melina tries to help Nitro. Candice cuts her off. Shad presses Candice onto Melina and they spill to the floor. Cryme Tyme hits the G9, and that is it. Party tyme! Winners: Candice Michelle & Cryme Tyme.

Maria is cooing over the Intercontinental title draped on the shoulder of Santino Marella. Apparently one's got a crush on the other. Chairman Wackjob shows up, and disses Maria. Santino protests in Italian, so McNutty makes him defend the IC title.....NEXT

Santino Marella vs. Chris Masters (IC title). These two were in a dark match prior to One Night Stand. Last week, Masters issued a Masterlock Challenge to Marella that I neglected to report. Marella failed that test, but tonight's a different story. Marella came out firing with kicks, hoping to weaken his larger opponent. Masters went for the Masterlock, but Marella avoids that and gets a near fall. Marella took Masters down and hit the La Magistral cradle to retain. Winner: Santino Marella.

Battered and sore after the ladder match last night, Jeff & Matt Hardy are backstage, congratulated by Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch, who want another title shot, but only when the Hardys are 100%. Unfortunately, McMahon happens along and makes the match for tonight. He continues on his way and meets with Ric Flair & Torrie Wilson. He rips into Flair for being a dirty old man, but Torrie reminds how Linda caught her & Vince together back in '01. Ric's having a few laughs. McMahon makes two more matches. Torrie vs. Carlito, and Flair vs. Randy Orton.

Ric Flair vs. Randy Orton. These two have had classics, but this doesn't rank up there, considering Orton's more sociopathic bent of late. JR reports that Rob Van Dam is "out indefinitely" with a concussion, which means he's done, given that RVD's contract expires at the end of the month. Flair had control for a good amount of the match, but it just wasn't to be. Orton began targeting the head, starting with a dropkick, and then a boot to the side of the head as Flair was trying to use the ropes to pull himself up. One RKO later, and it was over. Winner: Randy Orton.

Carlito vs. Torrie Wilson. Total squash. Carlito feigned being a gentleman, offering to let Torrie walk out and take a countout because of the bad leg. However, the second she turned her back, her ex struck with a takedown, then the Backstabber. Winner: Carlito.

Matt & Jeff Hardy vs. Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch (World tag team titles). Best match on the show, IMPO. All that was needed was one mistake to turn the tide. A harbinger came when Jeff tweaked his knee when he did a plancha on Murdoch, forcing Matt to carry the load the rest of the way. However, Jeff did take a hot tag, and it seemed like everything was going the champs' way after all. Unfortunately, Jeff missed the Swanton, and Cade covered him. Jeff tried to put a foot on the rope, but Murdoch pushed it off at the very last second. Winners & new World tag team champions: Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch. It's been over 18 months since Cade & Murdoch dropped the titles to Kane & Big Show, but just when you thought the new champs had completely turned over a new leaf, they turned back heel on the Hardys post-match, all because Matt questioned them about the finish. Stereo belt shots left the Hardys lying.

Jonathan Coachman is back after missing the last 2 weeks. He is trying to talk to Dr. McNutty, who is trying to address a black cloud hanging over him. Coach then goes out and announces we'll have another McMahon appreciation night next week on Draft Night.

John Cena vs. Umaga vs. Great Khali (w/Rumjin Singh)(WWE title). When the match started, Khali seemed to be pointing at Umaga, suggesting to Cena to start with the Samoan, but Da Champ went after the "Punjabi Frankenstein" instead. Naturally, Cena was pummeled. Turning point here was when all three were on the floor. Umaga grabbed the steps and threw them toward Cena, who ducked, and Khali ended up taking the blow. So it was Cena & Umaga going one-on-one. Out goes Cena, and Khali returns. Short brawl between the monster heels ensues. Later, Khali went for the tree slam on Cena, but Umaga stopped that. Khali turned his attention to Umaga and went for the tree slam again, but Umaga cut that off with a Samoan Spike. Cena bum-rushed Umaga out with a shoulder-block, then hit the FU on Khali to end it. Winner: John Cena.