The show proper begins with the Heckle & Jeckle of the WWE, DeGeneration X (Triple H & Shawn Michaels), who've come back together "for one night only". I guess the guys have decided to close the books on the gimmick, even though it's the 10th anniversary. Before Hunter can even finish the intro, Hornswoggle comes out from under the ring. HBK pulls out some merchandise tucked into his waist, including wrist bands and glow sticks, before pulling his copy of the run sheet to show 'Swoggle. So why is Hornswoggle in the ring now? There's a monster under the ring, he says. HBK goes to investigate, and is dragged under. He comes back out bearing the telltale sign of the Boogeyman. Sure enough, Boogey comes out, and like Hornswoggle, he wants to join DX. Next comes the Great Khali & Runjin Singh. JR brings up Khali facing Undertaker on the next Smackdown. Singh & Khali stand behind the others, but then Jonathan Coachman, professional buzzkiller, comes out. HHH convinces Singh & Khali that Coach dissed the Punjabi Nightmare. Khali chops Coach in the head and chases him out. Boogeyman & Hornswoggle disappear, so DX finishes their routine----finally.

They show actor Luke Perry is in the house. This is followed by a recap of last week's diva battle royal, leading to our first match...

Match 1: Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly (non-title) Kelly won the battle royal last week, and her reward is getting squashed. Enough said. Winner: Beth Phoenix.

Santino Marella cuts a promo, claiming Stone Cold Steve Austin, who now lives in Los Angeles, isn't there. He produces a paper bag, challenging Austin to act his way out of it.

Match 2: Snitsky vs. Joey ???? Squashola #2. It was supposed to be Carlito taking on the rent-a-jobber, but he brought out Snitsky as a sub for no reason. Apparently, he didn't like the idea of wrestling a scrub. Boot to the head, then the pumphandle slam. Good night. Winner: Snitsky.

Post-match, Snits turned on Carlito and gave him the same treatment before Carlito could spit apple on the unfortunate jobber.

They're showing a Jeff Hardy highlight reel set to the music of Lost Prophets. Jeff teams with Rey Mysterio next vs. Finlay & Mr. Kennedy.

Match 3: Jeff Hardy & Rey Mysterio vs. Mr. Kennedy & Finlay We come back from break with Kennedy already in the ring finishing his promo. Methinks they may have used one commercial too many this time around. Anyway, this is a preview of a 5-on-5 Survivor Series tag, which will have Mysterio & Hardy teaming with HHH, Matt Hardy, & Kane vs. Finlay, Kennedy, MVP, Umaga, & Big Daddy V. Jeff's gone to the bleach bottle. Hopefully, it wasn't the same one Shel Benjamin used, if you've followed Benjamin's exploits the last couple of months. I digress. The action spills outside early, and strangely, Kennedy pulls Finlay off Hardy. Mysterio gets Jeff back to their corner while Finlay & Kennedy are nose-to-nose heading to the next break. Back from commercial, and Kennedy & Mysterio are in the ring. The heels get heat on Rey, and whatever differences there might have been have quickly dissipated. Inevitably, however, Mysterio does make the hot tag. Hardy hits the Whisper in the Wind for a near fall before Finlay throws him out. That proves to be a fatal mistake, as Mysterio hits a double dropkick, but Finlay escapes to the outside to avoid the 619, which nails Kennedy. Mysterio hits the seated senton off the apron to eliminate Finlay, while Kennedy finds himself in a familiar position, pinned after the Swanton Bomb. Winners: Jeff Hardy & Rey Mysterio.

Santino Marella is on the cell phone when Maria tells him she's "heard a rumor" that Austin is in the building. Marella dismisses this, and takes Maria out to the ring. Rattlesnake trap dead ahead!

Wrestlemania 24 1st day ticket sales in Orlando. There's a Jimmy Hart sighting, complete with megaphone.

Santino & Maria make their way down. Marella notes the presence of Scott Wiper, director of "The Condemned". More jokes about the movie. Naturally, the glass shatters, and this time Stone Cold IS in tha house. Maria understandably has had feelings of trepidation from the word go, and quickly retreats to the floor. Austin corrects Santino on his poor paraphrasing of the Rattlesnake's catchphrases. Since Santino doesn't like beer, but rather red wine, Austin offers a free copy of the DVD of "The Condemned". Marella drops it and steps on it. He doesn't get the double bird, but does eat a stunner. Austin puts the DVD in Marella's mouth and leaves for a moment as Maria comes back in to attend to her wayward love. Austin returns with a beer truck. Marella gets a bath, and starts swimming in the suds. Maria ends up getting drenched as well. Austin leaves, but not before giving Wiper a brew.

Vince McMahon talks to Hornswoggle about parenting, McMahon style. His idea of tough love for 'Swoggle is putting him in a match at Survivor Series with none other than the Great Khali. I think if 'Swoggle wants to score some points with the family, he might want to give Stephanie a call. She could tell him all about her father's demented concept of tough love.

JR & the King discuss the Survivor Series card so far.

Triple H is backstage, killing some more time while the ring crew (shown briefly) replaces the canvas. HBK shows up, and says he's got everything ready, whatever that's supposed to be. Well, some dancing is in order, but then Big Dick Johnson shows up with the glow sticks. Hunter shoves him to the side and brings out the E network's "Girls Next Door". HHH even does the bump 'n' grind with the girls. Lawler's going nuts.

Match 4: Trevor Murdoch (w/Lance Cade) vs. Cody Rhodes (w/Hardcore Holly) As the tag champs make their way down, along comes Mickie James, wishing Trev good luck. Cade blows her off. Mickie leaves forelorn. She must've seen "Flashdance" over the weekend, and got the idea to wear her sweater with her left shoulder exposed. Looks better on her than it did on Jennifer Beals 25 years ago. I digress. Pretty even matchup, and this suggests that the Holly/Rhodes team are being pushed as the next challengers for Cade & Murdoch. Just when it looks like Murdoch may put this one in the bag, Cade blows it for him. Cade tries to get on the apron, but Holly comes around to cut him off. The ref sends Holly back to his corner, but Rhodes picks up Cade and kicks him off the apron anyway. He dodges a charge by Murdoch and "hits" a sunset flip, which didn't quite connect, for the fall. Winner: Cody Rhodes.

Up now is a video retrospective on the career of Lillian Ellison, the Fabulous Moolah. The vidpack will replay on ECW, Smackdown, and online on WWE.com the rest of the week. After the video concludes, the fans applaud, showing their respect to the Hall of Famer.

Match 5: World's Greatest Tag Team vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggan & Super Crazy All four men are already in the ring, no entrances, but Duggan & Crazy are taking turns on the mic. "Hooooooo!" "Siiiiiiii!" Too silly for words. Too short, too. It all ends suddenly when Benjamin goes for a bodyslam, but Crazy rolls him up to get the three. Upset, Benjamin goes after Crazy after the bell, but Duggan clears him out. Winners: Hacksaw Jim Duggan & Super Crazy.

Match 6: Shawn Michaels & Triple H (DX) vs. Randy Orton & Umaga DX comes out fighting right at the opening bell. HBK does a cannonball plancha onto Umaga. HHH starts with Orton, but Umaga is quickly tagged in. Quick tags in and out for DX as well. As we go to break, Umaga has the advantage after a released spinning side slam on HHH. Back from break, and the action starts going back and forth between the two teams. HHH & HBK take turns being face-in-peril. To sell the primitive nature of Umaga, Orton has to tag himself in much of the time. Michaels takes one hot tag and goes right to his finishing sequence. Flying forearm, inverted atomic drop, elbow off the top. But before he can tune up the band for the sweet chin music, HBK is cut off by Umaga. However, the WWE champ can't put Michaels away. HHH avoided the buttsplash once, but not a second time. He had Orton set for the pedigree, but Umaga saved with a Samoan Spike. Again, Orton couldn't close the deal. One final hot tag to HBK. Swing and a miss by Orton. Sweet chin music finds its mark for the 5th straight week. Good-bye! Winners: Shawn Michaels & Triple H.

Even though he's on the disabled list, John Cena will still be seen on WWE-TV via ads for the Smackdown vs. Raw 2008 game. There will be another 3-hour Raw coming up on December 10, even though the series' 15th anniversary isn't until January. Go figure.