 We open with clips from the last 2 weeks, starting with Stephanie being worried about her father inviting another beatdown on himself. Last week, Vince McMahon named himself the greatest superstar in Raw history, ignoring his daughter's warnings, and getting attacked by Mankind, Undertaker, & Stone Cold Steve Austin, leading to the end-of-show party.
Match 1: Melina, Layla El, Victoria, & Jillian Hall vs. Michelle McCool, Mickie James, Maria, & Kelly Kelly Lillian Garcia must've gotten confused and introduced Kelly being on both teams. Jillian really does have a novelty Christmas CD on iTunes, as confirmed by JR. She butchers "The Christmas Song", and even Melina is holding her ears. Short match that deserved much more time, and thus, it got sloppy in spots. For example, Melina botched a faceplant on Michelle, and had trouble putting McCool on the tree of woe. It ends with Mickie hitting the MickieDT on Victoria. Winners: Michelle McCool, Mickie James, Maria, & Kelly Kelly.
The post-match celebration comes to an abrupt end as Vince McMahon slowly walks down to the ring. He wanted to celebrate Raw's 15th anniversary last week, but instead, after the beatdown, everyone came out and celebrated. He was humiliated, but doesn't understand why people celebrated his anguish. Jeff Hardy comes out. He says that they don't want to hate on Vince, but the insane chairman leaves them no choice. He doesn't give a damn about them, so they don't give a damn about him. McMahon then slumps in a corner. We come back from break, and Hardy is long gone. William Regal comes out, and pleads with McMahon to head back to the office. Triple H comes out and insincerely apologizes for his actions last week, sitting down beside McMahon as he does so. Regal then demands that Helmsley leave or be forced from the building. McMahon is finally helped to his feet, but his voice changes to something resembling a more stereotypical man of his age, and has Regal summon Jonathan Coachman. Regal & Coach will face HHH in a handicap match---next!
Match 2: Triple H vs. William Regal & Jonathan Coachman After the Santa's Helpers match, we now have two veterans, Regal & Helmsley, and Coachman competing in street clothes. Not that it matters, considering we already know the result. Regal pulls out some brass knux, but is intercepted by a HHH spinebuster. Coach gets the knux, but Hunter's waiting on him, too. He takes the knux, bounces them off the bald head of Coachman, then hits the pedigree. Good night! Winner: Triple H.Clips are shown of the WWE title match. John Bradshaw Layfield's interference cost Chris Jericho the title, though Jericho won by DQ. Tonight, Y2J has invited the self-serving Smackdown announcer for a in-ring confrontation.
Match 3: Cody Rhodes & Hardcore Holly vs. Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch (World tag team titles) Return match from last week, as the former champions, Cade & Murdoch, have invoked their return clause, hoping to become 4 time champions. Unlike last week, this bout is a little more evenly paced, but the former champs can't maintain an advantage for too long. Case in point: Cade & Murdoch hit a double team move on Holly, but Murdoch, somewhat delirious, opts to tag out to Cade instead of going for the cover. Cade immediately tries to cover for his partner's miscue, but can only get a 2. This comes back to haunt Cade as Holly makes the hot tag to Rhodes. Holly clears out Murdoch, and they start fighting on the floor. Cade misses a lariat, but Rhodes strikes quickly with a DDT. Jake Roberts would be proud. Winners: Cody Rhodes & Hardcore Holly.
Match 4: Ric Flair vs. Umaga Flair's career is hanging in the balance, so of course, Vince McMahon sends one of his deadliest assassins to try to end Flair's 35+ year career. Flair cuts a promo pre-match, ripping on Vince, and reiterating that he will never retire. He loves the business so much, that walking away is not an option, in his opinion. As he stated 3 weeks ago, he intends to give us his best, win or lose. Early on, as expected, Umaga has the advantage with youth, size, & speed. However, Flair is wise enough to avoid all of Umaga's high impact moves. The turning point comes when Umaga sends Flair out to the floor and has Flair set up against the barrier while ref Chad Patten counts. However, Umaga crashes through the barricade while Flair staggers back to the ring to beat the count. Flair survives yet again! Winner: Ric Flair via countout.
It isn't exactly the Highlight Reel, but Chris Jericho has invited JBL to be his guest in the ring. Unfortunately, the self-serving, self-declared "wrestling god" has chosen to be in a studio "via satellite". He rips into Jericho, and warns that if Jericho shows up on Smackdown, as Chris intends to do, he will be barred from competing in the Royal Rumble match, per an agreement JBL made with Vince McMahon. Naturally. Instead of punishing J-Me-L for violating the terms of his broadcaster's contract, McMahon protects him. JBL, however, gets ripped right back, as Jericho calls him a "afterthought". That prompts Layfield to declare he'll be at Raw. The blasphemy of his so-called godhood, though, has to go!
Match 5: Santino Marella (w/Maria) & Carlito vs. Paul London & Brian Kendrick Maria's had time to change clothes after the 1st match. Marella & Carlito are tagging for the first time, which isn't always a good thing. However, as with the women's match earlier, this deserved much more time. The finish seemed to come out of nowhere. Kendrick hit a crossbody off the top on Carlito. Marella saved, and led London out of the ring, using Maria as a human shield. Kendrick took his eyes off Carlito, and it cost him, as Carlito hit the Backstabber to gain the fall. Winners: Santino Marella & Carlito. Post-match, the giddy Marella cut a promo and mistakenly thought Carlito was a Columbian. Carlito corrected him and said he's Puerto Rican, which is true. Well, we know Marella, with his malaprops, is an Italian Norm Crosby. Carlito doesn't know what to make of all this, but if it allows him to take Maria away from Santino in the long term, well, that would be cool.
Todd Grisham interviews Randy Orton, who claims he actually beat Chris Jericho "from pillar to post" at Armageddon. "Save us? How about 'Spare me'?", Orton declared. He put over Jeff Hardy beating Triple H, but said that he not only kills legends, but hopes & dreams as well, and he'll show Hardy shortly just why being #1 contender could be the worst thing that could've happened. Ric Flair is backstage with a tech aide when Triple H comes in to congratulate him. However, coming in the other side is the nutty professor himself, Vince McMahon, who puts the Nature Boy against the Game in 2 weeks. Uh-ohhhhh!
Match 6: Jeff Hardy & Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton & Mr. Kennedy This, friends, is your match of the night. Fast paced from the word go, and a very even match, to boot. Kennedy's left hand was bandaged as a result of an "injury" sustained last night vs. HBK. Prior to the commercial, Hardy & Michaels hit stereo planchas on Orton & Kennedy, but after the break, Kennedy took control on Michaels, only to have HBK tag out to Hardy. The heels would get heat on Hardy, as well as on Michaels, but couldn't sustain the advantage. Hardy got the last tag, and turned it up several notches. Michaels cleared out Kennedy, but it looked a little sloppy as Michaels literally had to climb onto Kennedy to take them both over the top. Hardy went for the Twist of Fate, Orton blocked, but his RKO was blocked by Hardy shoving him into the ropes. Hardy hit the Twist, then the Swanton, and drew 1st blood, if you will, on Orton. Winners: Jeff Hardy & Shawn Michaels.
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WrestleMania 13: Bret Hart vs. Stonecold