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Looking for more than a mere one-liner? Read transcripts of the most memorable promos and shoots, delivered by some of the most prominant wrestling personalities of the WWE, WCW, TNA, and more.
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Joey Styles quitting Raw as the New ECW angle builds...

The GMs for the evening, the Spirit Squad, called Joey into their office(?) to tell him that if he didn't do a good job of commentary on the title match they would make him wear a cheerleader outfit. Joey then came back out to King mocking Joey and the fact that he may be a cheerleader next week. Telling Joey to have spirit. Saying that if this was ECW he';d have spirit, to which Joey replied "If this was ECW, I wouldn't be working with a hack, like you." This led to Joey shoving Lawler a few times, to which Lawler liked (he was showing "spirit") then Joey slapped him in the face. Which led to King shoving him to the floor and Joey running off to the back.

After the break King apologized to Joey and asked him to come back out and finish out the show. Joey came back out and said the following:

"You want to apologize? Like nothing happened. Like you didn't knock me on my ass in front of millions of people worldwide, and I'm gonna come down there and work with you. I'm not coming back, and now thanks to the magic of live television I'm gonna show the whole world, why for seven years in ECW I was the unscripted, uncensored, loose cannon of commentary. Six months ago, WWE called me, I didn't call this company because I was looking for a job. I didn't need a job. WWE called me because they had humiliated and fired...again, Jim Ross. So I get JR's spot, and from week one, week after week I've got an ongoing lecture about the differences in professional wrestling and sports entertainment. I'm not allowed to say 'pro wrestling', I'm not allowed to say 'wrestler'. I have to say 'sports entertainment' and refer to the wrestlers as 'superstars'. I'm told to deliberant ignore the moves and the holds during the matches so I can tell stories. Well ignoring the moves and the holds is damn insulting to the athletes, the 'wrestlers', not the entertainers who leave their families three hundred days a year to ply their craft in that ring. Here's the best part, because I'm not a sports entertainment storyteller I get pulled from Wrestlemania, and the reason I'm given is, is because I don't sound like Jim Ross who's the guy they fired in the first place. That makes sense, right? So I swallow the bitter pill, I'm a company guy. I get bumped from Wrestlemania. Then I get bumped from Backlash? I'm not good enough to call Backlash!? In ECW, I called live pay-per-views on my own, solo, no color commentators dragging me down. Wasn't done before me, hasn't been done since. But I'm not good enough to call Backlash because I'm not a sports entertainment storyteller. Well you know what? I am sick of sports entertainment. I am sick of male cheerleaders. I am sick of boogers and bathroom humor and semen and I am sick of our chairman. Who likes to talk about his own semen, he mocks God... he mocks God!!!!! And makes out with the divas all to feed his own insatiable ego. I am sick of sports entertainment, and most of all I am sick of you fans who actually buy into that crap! This sports entertainment circus! I never needed this job, and I don't want this job anymore."
[At this point Joey pulls the WWE collar off the microphone and tosses it away.]

"I quit!"

Joey Styles

Paul Heyman at ECW One Night Stand

"I want you to know that I’m not crying…my eyes are red because I was in the back smoking a joint with Van Dam. I have a need in my heart to thank Tod Gordon for giving me the chance to be creative and book for you crazy *******s. I have a need to thank that man Ron Buffone and his partner Charlie Bruzzese for sticking with us and sitting in a TV Studio and building that TV show for you...you are the craziest *******s I have ever met in my life...I love every one of you. And I was gonna take the high road and just say thank you and leave... (Mick Foley (on commentary): "Don’t take the high road Paul...") ...but I have something to say to you! (points to the WWE contingency in the balcony) You see...I’ve waited a long time to say this to you...Eric Bischoff! But in case you don’t notice...it’s not Paul Heyman with his tail between his legs going to a WCW PPV…YOU ARE IN OUR HOUSE...BITCH! (Bischoff gives him the middle finger). Oh wait a minute… wait a minute… wait a minute...hide your wives...it’s Edge! (The crowd chants "You screwed Matt!" at Edge) Now Edge...I know nobody with a written promo has the balls to say this to you, but I have two words for you...MATT-FREAKIN’-HARDY! (The crowd pops loudly for that one, resulting in a "We want Matt!" chant, whilst Edge & others in the WWE group start mouthing "That was 3 words") Well, with that... (sees Bradshaw) I almost forgot about you! Mr. Shoot Promo himself...bounced Checks...ECW went out of business...Hey John...On a personal note...from all of us just to you...since you want to shoot cowboy…the only reason you were WWE Champion for a year, is because Triple H didn’t want to work Tuesdays! Now one more time for old times sakes...right there so the whole world can see us…this ain’t WCW...this ain’t Monday Night RAW...this ain’t SmackDown!...this ain’t even World Wrestling Entertainment...this my friends...is E-C-****ING-W!!"

Paul Heyman

Paul Heyman on Vince McMahon (Smackdown)

"In just a few moments, at my leisure, I'm gonna call Vince McMahon out to his ring in front of his public on a television show that's owned by his grand company. At least, that is, until this Sunday at Survivor Series. I know how much you people appreciate what Shane and Stephanie and I have done. How Shane and Stephanie and I have stood up to the tyranny of Vince McMahon. And the way it is ladies and gentlemen is quite simple: the World Wrestling Federation will die this Sunday. But don't blame me for that. It's not my faulty. I'm not the one who ruined everything that was accomplished by "Stone Cold" Steve Austin. You see at Survivor Series, it means so much more than just the personalities that are involved. It's about ending what Vince McMahon has tried to accomplish. I sat there at that desk on Monday and I listened to Mick Foley, and I agreed with everything Mick Foley had to say; that the WWF truly does suck! Don't boo me! Have you watched the television show lately? Vince McMahon has lost his mind! The man doesn't have it anymore! He's a has-been. His ideas are antiquated. His concepts are Draconian and Mick Foley was right because the WWF is imploding from within. Like every great empire, the WWF is imploding from within. Vince's loyal employees, like "Stone Cold", left him, like Mick Foley wants nothing to do with him, Vince's own children want him to burn in Hell, and I don't blame 'em. Vince McMahon will see the WWF die this Sunday at Survivor Series and he has no hope to save his precious company. Vince McMahon has the same chances of saving the WWF as he did of realizing his dream of starting a football league! (Vince's McMahon's music hits and he enters the ring.) I want you to know that I was down on my knees because I know you're used to men kissing your ass, Vinnie. Every time you walk in the back, there's Patterson and Brisco, 'Oh, what a great idea you had, Vince!' You like men kissing your ass, don't you, Vince? Because that's what you're all about; a billionaire! The billionaire, Vince McMahon! The creator of sports entertainment! I've waited so long to see you face to face like this. And I've waited so long to tell you to your face that I hate your stinking guts. And it's not just me, it's your children that hate your stinking guts, Vince, and at Survivor Series, your children are going to do to you what I've waited my whole life to see someone do to you, Vince. You are, so help me God, the most disgusting, vile, son of a bitch I've ever seen in my life. You took Hulk Hogan’s blood and you built Titan Towers. You stole Bret Hart’s dream, and with that money, bought yourself an airplane with WWF all over it. You did that and you know it, you son of a bitch! You stole Shawn Michaels’ smile, took your company public and made yourself a billionaire. But not a self-made billionaire, like you like to tell everybody you are. Oh no…see, you’re a billionaire on other people’s hard work. Your father, your father, Vince McMahon, your father went around the country and shook the hand...you know I'm telling you the truth, don't you? You know in your heart that I'm telling you the truth, that your father shook the hand of every promoter in this country that he'd never compete against them, that his son would never compete against them. And when your father DIED, you competed! And with your ruthless, merciless, take-no-prisoners attitude, you drove everybody out of business, didn't you, Vince? You ran all the competition into the ground and you stole all their ideas and you made yourself a billionaire out of it! And you know whose ideas you stole the most, Vince? You stole mine. See, I don't give a damn about Don Owen and Sam Mushnick and Jim Crockett, I care about what you did to me and my family. How you stole my dreams, how you stole my legacy, how you stole everything that Extreme Championship Wrestling (ECW) represented. Because while Doink the Clown had green hair and a rubber nose, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin was drinking his first beer in ECW, damn you. While Bobby Heenan and Gene Okerlund were dancing around singing "Tutti Fruitti", ECW was producing the edgy TV that you named "attitude." 'Oh, we've got attitude!' You've got nothing, man! What you've got is my ideas and you stole my life, my money, my legacy! (throws his hat at him) SCREW YOU! SCREW YOU AND YOUR FAMILY! I'll tell you something, your own children hate your guts! And on Sunday, your children are going to get even with you, for everything that you stole from me, from everything you stole from them! You flaunt your affairs in front of your wife! You flaunt your affairs in Playboy for your children to read! You *******! Look at Tazz! Look at Tazz! This man was a killer, he was a machine! He was a wrestler, a great wrestler, a real man. But wrestling is a dirty word to you, isn't it, Vince? Your father built a wrestling company, and you, you had to have sports entertainment. 'We have to have sports entertainment, ha ha ha!' (Points to Tazz) He was a wrestler, he was a great wrestler, he was a man. And now, he's a fat, little, obnoxious color commentator, and not even a good one! He is a sports entertainer. He is not a wrestler because you made wrestling a dirty word. You made wrestling a dirty word, Vince. What kind of a man are you? What kind of a man takes wrestling and makes it sports entertainment? At Survivor Series, you're going down. You're going down, Vince. I promise you, you're going down, and I'm going to watch it and your children are going to lift their leg, and stand over your grave and we're going to laugh. And you know what else I'm going to do, Vince? I'm going to run your ass out of business. And there's not a damn thing you can do about. I'm feeling good about myself..." (Tazz locks in the Tazzmission and chokes Heyman down)

Paul Heyman

Paul Heyman at ECW December to Dismember

You know its one thing to make plans for it, its another thing to stand directly underneath it. Ladies and gentleman, this will be your main event of the evening. (Fans cheer) And right before I came out, I was standing in the back and I realize to myself exactly what has been created. Exactly what, quite frankly, I created. Because I’ll be honest with you if you look at all of the legendary things that have come forward. Hulkamania dies when Hulk Hogan dies, the Woos will die with Ric Flair, but long after my death… (FANS START TO WOO) But long after my death, ECW will live on. And it’s all thanks to Paul Heyman. So tonight, Paul Heyman decides to top himself, not just an elimination chamber, but the extreme elimination chamber. Six of the top athletes in the history of Extreme Championship Wrestling fight for the right to walk back up that aisle tonight as the ECW World Heavyweight Champion. Now earlier this evening, as you know Sabu has now “missed” his opportunity to enter the chamber. (FANS CHANT “BULLSHIT”). Now, I personally would have liked to have seen the suicidal, homicidal genocidal, Sabu within the chamber, but lets all be honest with each other. The day of Sabu, and The Sandman, and Rob Van Dam has come to an end. (FANS BOO) Let’s fast forward to 2006. Let’s fast forward to 2007. Like it or not, this is the age of the global phenomenon of ECW, led by your World Heavyweight Champion. The 7-foot tall 500 pound Big Show. So now on behalf of that global phenomenon called ECW, I give you the crowning achievement of the Big Shows career. Because it is time now, ladies and gentlemen, to lower the extreme elimination chamber.

Paul Heyman

Ric Flair cuts a promo on Carlito being a young punk on Raw

You make me sick. You walk around here at Raw with a beautiful girl on your arm like you're some kind of (bleep)ing star? I just lost a match to the Intercontinental Champion. A man who is a walking, talking PDR but who gets to keep the belt on this brand. Do you understand that I was headlining Starcade when he was drinking strained beets through a straw? But I am the one who now has to prove to a gluteal fixated, anabolic CEO that I still deserve a spot on the Raw roster!
And you. Born with a silver spoon in your fanny pack. Your old man's forehead looks like the Catskills because he bled, sweated, and paid the price to carve out a territory in a territory. So tell me, Carly. What have you done? Pristine forehead and an apple. What the (bleep) kinda gimmick is an apple?! You look like a human troll doll. You look like the guy I would call to arrange for a little companionship and bottle of vino delivered to my suite at the Casa Alta Vista in Vieques - and not a wrestler.
You just want the money and stardom without the hard work. The money. Have you ever driven 300 miles one way gaped-mouthed and wide-eyed on greenies just for a $20.00 payoff? No. You haven't. Have you ever had a wife pull you with pliers by the shorthairs to a courthouse and try to take everything you've bled, sweated and paid the price to earn? No. You haven't. Do you know where your next meal is coming from? Of course you do, Chia. Catering. You want the world but the world is not enough. But, kid, you haven't earned it. Its not about paying your dues. Its about showing respect. You want to waltz in here, play grabass with Torrie Wilson, eat an apple and call yourself a superstar?! You're super(bleep). Bite your apple and spit it in the face of Pat O'Connor. Dory Funk, Jr. Jack Brisco. Harley Race. You eat an apple and spit it out? Those men would eat YOU and spit YOU out.
You're 28 years old and you can still move. When I was 28, I could dance all night and dance a little longer. But now, an artificial hip, at 58? Are (bleep)ing kidding me? I can barely walk. But I'll tell you what I can do. I can kick your ass. Because I'm a wrestler - not a superstar. I'm a wrestler - not an extremist. I'm a wrestler, pal. And you're not. You're a wannabe. A pretender to the throne that Ric Flair, the Nature Boy, still sits on. And I'll sit on this throne until somebody knocks me off. And, kid, that ain't gonna be you.
You want me to make you famous? I will. From now on everybody will remember your name as the person that an old man with a bad hip, a vengeful wife, and an expensive lawyer - beat up. You'll be famous, punk. And I'll still be on the throne. Because - to be the man, you have to beat the man, Carly. And. You. Are. Not. The. Man. There is only one Nature Boy.
Torrie, I'll see you around midnight. And bring a friend.

Ric Flair

CM Punk shoots on John Cena/WWE/Vince McMahon on Raw

John Cena, while you lay there, hopefully as uncomfortable as you possibly can be, I want you to listen to me. I want you to digest this because before I leave in 3 weeks with your WWE Championship, I have a lot of things I want to get off my chest.

I don't hate you, John. I don't even dislike you. I do like you. I like you a hell of a lot more than I like most people in the back.

I hate this idea that you're the best. Because you're not. I'm the best. I'm the best in the world. There's one thing you're better at than I am and that's kissing Vince McMahon's ass.

You're as good as kissing Vince McMahon's ass as Hulk Hogan was. I don't know if you're as good as Dwayne though. He's a pretty good ass kisser. Always was and still is.

Whoops! I'm breaking the fourth wall! (Punk waves to the camera)

I am the best wrestler in the world.

I've been the best since day one when I walked into this company. And I've been vilified and hated since that day because Paul Heyman saw something in me that nobody else wanted to admit. That's right, I'm a Paul Heyman guy. You know who else was a Paul Heyman guy? Brock Lesnar. And he split just like I'm splitting. But the biggest difference between me and Brock is I'm going to leave with the WWE Championship.

I've grabbed so many of Vincent K. McMahon's brass rings that it's finally dawned on me that there just that, they're completely imaginary. The only thing that's real is me and the fact that day in and day out, for almost six years, I have proved to everybody in the world that I am the best on this microphone, in that ring, even in commentary! Nobody can touch me!

And yet no matter how many times I prove it, I'm not on your lovely little collector cups. I'm not on the cover of the program. I'm barely promoted. I don't get to be in movies. I'm certainly not on any crappy show on the USA Network. I'm not on the poster of WrestleMania. I'm not on the signature that's produced at the start of the show. I'm not on Conan O'Brian. I'm not on Jimmy Fallon. But the fact of the matter is, I should be.

This isn't sour grapes. But the fact that Dwayne is in the main event at WrestleMania next year and I'm not makes me sick!

Oh hey, let me get something straight. Those of you who are cheering me right now, you are just as big a part of me leaving as anything else. Because you're the ones who are sipping on those collector cups right now. You're the ones that buy those programs that my face isn't on the cover of. And then at five in the morning at the airport, you try to shove it in my face and get an autograph and try to sell it on Ebay because you're too lazy to go get a real job.

I'm leaving with the WWE Championship on July 17th. And hell, who knows, maybe I'll go defend it in New Japan Pro Wrestling. Maybe…I'll go back to Ring of Honor.

(Punk looks at the camera and waves)

Hey, Colt Cabana, how you doing?

The reason I'm leaving is you people. Because after I'm gone, you're still going to pour money into this company. I'm just a spoke on the wheel. The wheel is going to keep turning and I understand that. Vince McMahon is going to make money despite himself. He's a millionaire who should be a billionaire. You know why he's not a billionaire? Because he surrounds himself with glad-handed, non-sensical, douchebag (censored) yes men, like John Laurinaitis, who's going to tell him everything he wants to hear, and I'd like to think that maybe this company will better after Vince McMahon is dead. But the fact is, it's going to be taken over by his idiotic daughter and his doofus son-in-law and the rest of his stupid family.

Let me tell you a personal story about Vince McMahon alright. We do this whole (anti) bully campaign

Mic cut off.

C.M. Punk