Looking for more than a mere one-liner? Read transcripts of the most memorable promos and shoots, delivered by some of the most prominant wrestling personalities.
Quote
Individual
Joey
Styles quitting Raw as the New ECW angle builds...
The GMs for the evening, the Spirit Squad, called Joey into
their office(?) to tell him that if he didn't do a good
job of commentary on the title match they would make him
wear a cheerleader outfit. Joey then came back out to King
mocking Joey and the fact that he may be a cheerleader next
week. Telling Joey to have spirit. Saying that if this was
ECW he';d have spirit, to which Joey replied "If this
was ECW, I wouldn't be working with a hack, like you."
This led to Joey shoving Lawler a few times, to which Lawler
liked (he was showing "spirit") then Joey slapped
him in the face. Which led to King shoving him to the floor
and Joey running off to the back.
After the break King apologized to Joey and asked him to
come back out and finish out the show. Joey came back out
and said the following:
"You want to apologize? Like nothing happened. Like
you didn't knock me on my ass in front of millions of people
worldwide, and I'm gonna come down there and work with you.
I'm not coming back, and now thanks to the magic of live
television I'm gonna show the whole world, why for seven
years in ECW I was the unscripted, uncensored, loose cannon
of commentary. Six months ago, WWE called me, I didn't call
this company because I was looking for a job. I didn't need
a job. WWE called me because they had humiliated and fired...again,
Jim Ross. So I get JR's spot, and from week one, week after
week I've got an ongoing lecture about the differences in
professional wrestling and sports entertainment. I'm not
allowed to say 'pro wrestling', I'm not allowed to say 'wrestler'.
I have to say 'sports entertainment' and refer to the wrestlers
as 'superstars'. I'm told to deliberant ignore the moves
and the holds during the matches so I can tell stories.
Well ignoring the moves and the holds is damn insulting
to the athletes, the 'wrestlers', not the entertainers who
leave their families three hundred days a year to ply their
craft in that ring. Here's the best part, because I'm not
a sports entertainment storyteller I get pulled from Wrestlemania,
and the reason I'm given is, is because I don't sound like
Jim Ross who's the guy they fired in the first place. That
makes sense, right? So I swallow the bitter pill, I'm a
company guy. I get bumped from Wrestlemania. Then I get bumped from Backlash? I'm not good enough to call Backlash!?
In ECW, I called live pay-per-views on my own, solo, no
color commentators dragging me down. Wasn't done before
me, hasn't been done since. But I'm not good enough to call
Backlash because I'm not a sports entertainment storyteller.
Well you know what? I am sick of sports entertainment. I
am sick of male cheerleaders. I am sick of boogers and bathroom
humor and semen and I am sick of our chairman. Who likes
to talk about his own semen, he mocks God... he mocks God!!!!!
And makes out with the divas all to feed his own insatiable
ego. I am sick of sports entertainment, and most of all
I am sick of you fans who actually buy into that crap! This
sports entertainment circus! I never needed this job, and
I don't want this job anymore."
[At this point Joey pulls the WWE collar off the microphone
and tosses it away.]
"I quit!"
Joey Styles
Paul
Heyman at ECW One Night Stand
"I want you to know that I’m not crying…my
eyes are red because I was in the back smoking a joint with
Van Dam. I have a need in my heart to thank Tod Gordon for
giving me the chance to be creative and book for you crazy
*******s. I have a need to thank that man Ron Buffone and
his partner Charlie Bruzzese for sticking with us and sitting
in a TV Studio and building that TV show for you...you are
the craziest *******s I have ever met in my life...I love
every one of you. And I was gonna take the high road and
just say thank you and leave... (Mick Foley (on commentary):
"Don’t take the high road Paul...") ...but
I have something to say to you! (points to the WWE contingency
in the balcony) You see...I’ve waited a long time
to say this to you...Eric Bischoff! But in case you don’t
notice...it’s not Paul Heyman with his tail between
his legs going to a WCW PPV…YOU ARE IN OUR HOUSE...BITCH!
(Bischoff gives him the middle finger). Oh wait a minute…
wait a minute… wait a minute...hide your wives...it’s
Edge! (The crowd chants "You screwed Matt!" at
Edge) Now Edge...I know nobody with a written promo has
the balls to say this to you, but I have two words for you...MATT-FREAKIN’-HARDY!
(The crowd pops loudly for that one, resulting in a "We
want Matt!" chant, whilst Edge & others in the
WWE group start mouthing "That was 3 words") Well,
with that... (sees Bradshaw) I almost forgot about you!
Mr. Shoot Promo himself...bounced Checks...ECW went out
of business...Hey John...On a personal note...from all of
us just to you...since you want to shoot cowboy…the
only reason you were WWE Champion for a year, is because
Triple H didn’t want to work Tuesdays! Now one more
time for old times sakes...right there so the whole world
can see us…this ain’t WCW...this ain’t
Monday Night RAW...this ain’t SmackDown!...this ain’t
even World Wrestling Entertainment...this my friends...is
E-C-****ING-W!!"
Paul Heyman
Paul
Heyman on Vince McMahon (Smackdown)
"In just a few moments, at my leisure, I'm gonna call
Vince McMahon out to his ring in front of his public on a
television show that's owned by his grand company. At least,
that is, until this Sunday at Survivor Series. I know how
much you people appreciate what Shane and Stephanie and I
have done. How Shane and Stephanie and I have stood up to
the tyranny of Vince McMahon. And the way it is ladies and
gentlemen is quite simple: the World Wrestling Federation
will die this Sunday. But don't blame me for that. It's not
my faulty. I'm not the one who ruined everything that was
accomplished by "Stone Cold" Steve Austin. You see
at Survivor Series, it means so much more than just the personalities
that are involved. It's about ending what Vince McMahon has
tried to accomplish. I sat there at that desk on Monday and
I listened to Mick Foley, and I agreed with everything Mick
Foley had to say; that the WWF truly does suck! Don't boo
me! Have you watched the television show lately? Vince McMahon
has lost his mind! The man doesn't have it anymore! He's a
has-been. His ideas are antiquated. His concepts are Draconian
and Mick Foley was right because the WWF is imploding from
within. Like every great empire, the WWF is imploding from
within. Vince's loyal employees, like "Stone Cold",
left him, like Mick Foley wants nothing to do with him, Vince's
own children want him to burn in Hell, and I don't blame 'em.
Vince McMahon will see the WWF die this Sunday at Survivor
Series and he has no hope to save his precious company. Vince
McMahon has the same chances of saving the WWF as he did of
realizing his dream of starting a football league! (Vince's
McMahon's music hits and he enters the ring.) I want you to
know that I was down on my knees because I know you're used
to men kissing your ass, Vinnie. Every time you walk in the
back, there's Patterson and Brisco, 'Oh, what a great idea
you had, Vince!' You like men kissing your ass, don't you,
Vince? Because that's what you're all about; a billionaire!
The billionaire, Vince McMahon! The creator of sports entertainment!
I've waited so long to see you face to face like this. And
I've waited so long to tell you to your face that I hate your
stinking guts. And it's not just me, it's your children that
hate your stinking guts, Vince, and at Survivor Series, your
children are going to do to you what I've waited my whole
life to see someone do to you, Vince. You are, so help me
God, the most disgusting, vile, son of a bitch I've ever seen
in my life. You took Hulk Hogan’s blood and you built
Titan Towers. You stole Bret Hart’s dream, and with
that money, bought yourself an airplane with WWF all over
it. You did that and you know it, you son of a bitch! You
stole Shawn Michaels’ smile, took your company public
and made yourself a billionaire. But not a self-made billionaire,
like you like to tell everybody you are. Oh no…see,
you’re a billionaire on other people’s hard work.
Your father, your father, Vince McMahon, your father went
around the country and shook the hand...you know I'm telling
you the truth, don't you? You know in your heart that I'm
telling you the truth, that your father shook the hand of
every promoter in this country that he'd never compete against
them, that his son would never compete against them. And when
your father DIED, you competed! And with your ruthless, merciless,
take-no-prisoners attitude, you drove everybody out of business,
didn't you, Vince? You ran all the competition into the ground
and you stole all their ideas and you made yourself a billionaire
out of it! And you know whose ideas you stole the most, Vince?
You stole mine. See, I don't give a damn about Don Owen and
Sam Mushnick and Jim Crockett, I care about what you did to
me and my family. How you stole my dreams, how you stole my
legacy, how you stole everything that Extreme Championship
Wrestling (ECW) represented. Because while Doink the Clown
had green hair and a rubber nose, "Stone Cold" Steve
Austin was drinking his first beer in ECW, damn you. While
Bobby Heenan and Gene Okerlund were dancing around singing
"Tutti Fruitti", ECW was producing the edgy TV that
you named "attitude." 'Oh, we've got attitude!'
You've got nothing, man! What you've got is my ideas and you
stole my life, my money, my legacy! (throws his hat at him)
SCREW YOU! SCREW YOU AND YOUR FAMILY! I'll tell you something,
your own children hate your guts! And on Sunday, your children
are going to get even with you, for everything that you stole
from me, from everything you stole from them! You flaunt your
affairs in front of your wife! You flaunt your affairs in
Playboy for your children to read! You *******! Look at Tazz!
Look at Tazz! This man was a killer, he was a machine! He
was a wrestler, a great wrestler, a real man. But wrestling
is a dirty word to you, isn't it, Vince? Your father built
a wrestling company, and you, you had to have sports entertainment.
'We have to have sports entertainment, ha ha ha!' (Points
to Tazz) He was a wrestler, he was a great wrestler, he was
a man. And now, he's a fat, little, obnoxious color commentator,
and not even a good one! He is a sports entertainer. He is
not a wrestler because you made wrestling a dirty word. You
made wrestling a dirty word, Vince. What kind of a man are
you? What kind of a man takes wrestling and makes it sports
entertainment? At Survivor Series, you're going down. You're
going down, Vince. I promise you, you're going down, and I'm
going to watch it and your children are going to lift their
leg, and stand over your grave and we're going to laugh. And
you know what else I'm going to do, Vince? I'm going to run
your ass out of business. And there's not a damn thing you
can do about. I'm feeling good about myself..." (Tazz
locks in the Tazzmission and chokes Heyman down)
Paul Heyman
Paul
Heyman at ECW December to Dismember
You know its one thing to make plans for it, its another
thing to stand directly underneath it. Ladies and gentleman,
this will be your main event of the evening. (Fans cheer)
And right before I came out, I was standing in the back
and I realize to myself exactly what has been created. Exactly
what, quite frankly, I created. Because I’ll be honest with
you if you look at all of the legendary things that have
come forward. Hulkamania dies when Hulk Hogan dies, the
Woos will die with Ric Flair, but long after my death… (FANS
START TO WOO) But long after my death, ECW will live on.
And it’s all thanks to Paul Heyman. So tonight, Paul Heyman
decides to top himself, not just an elimination chamber,
but the extreme elimination chamber. Six of the top athletes
in the history of Extreme Championship Wrestling fight for
the right to walk back up that aisle tonight as the ECW
World Heavyweight Champion. Now earlier this evening, as
you know Sabu has now “missed” his opportunity to enter
the chamber. (FANS CHANT “BULLSHIT”). Now, I personally
would have liked to have seen the suicidal, homicidal genocidal,
Sabu within the chamber, but lets all be honest with each
other. The day of Sabu, and The Sandman, and Rob Van Dam
has come to an end. (FANS BOO) Let’s fast forward to 2006.
Let’s fast forward to 2007. Like it or not, this is the
age of the global phenomenon of ECW, led by your World Heavyweight
Champion. The 7-foot tall 500 pound Big Show. So now on
behalf of that global phenomenon called ECW, I give you
the crowning achievement of the Big Shows career. Because
it is time now, ladies and gentlemen, to lower the extreme
elimination chamber.
Paul Heyman
Ric
Flair cuts a promo on Carlito being a young punk on Raw
You make me sick. You walk around here at Raw with a beautiful
girl on your arm like you're some kind of (bleep)ing star?
I just lost a match to the Intercontinental Champion. A
man who is a walking, talking PDR but who gets to keep the
belt on this brand. Do you understand that I was headlining
Starcade when he was drinking strained beets through a straw?
But I am the one who now has to prove to a gluteal fixated,
anabolic CEO that I still deserve a spot on the Raw roster!
And you. Born with a silver spoon in your fanny pack. Your
old man's forehead looks like the Catskills because he bled,
sweated, and paid the price to carve out a territory in
a territory. So tell me, Carly. What have you done? Pristine
forehead and an apple. What the (bleep) kinda gimmick is
an apple?! You look like a human troll doll. You look like
the guy I would call to arrange for a little companionship
and bottle of vino delivered to my suite at the Casa Alta
Vista in Vieques - and not a wrestler.
You just want the money and stardom without the hard work.
The money. Have you ever driven 300 miles one way gaped-mouthed
and wide-eyed on greenies just for a $20.00 payoff? No.
You haven't. Have you ever had a wife pull you with pliers
by the shorthairs to a courthouse and try to take everything
you've bled, sweated and paid the price to earn? No. You
haven't. Do you know where your next meal is coming from?
Of course you do, Chia. Catering. You want the world but
the world is not enough. But, kid, you haven't earned it.
Its not about paying your dues. Its about showing respect.
You want to waltz in here, play grabass with Torrie Wilson,
eat an apple and call yourself a superstar?! You're super(bleep).
Bite your apple and spit it in the face of Pat O'Connor.
Dory Funk, Jr. Jack Brisco. Harley Race. You eat an apple
and spit it out? Those men would eat YOU and spit YOU out.
You're 28 years old and you can still move. When I was 28,
I could dance all night and dance a little longer. But now,
an artificial hip, at 58? Are (bleep)ing kidding me? I can
barely walk. But I'll tell you what I can do. I can kick
your ass. Because I'm a wrestler - not a superstar. I'm
a wrestler - not an extremist. I'm a wrestler, pal. And
you're not. You're a wannabe. A pretender to the throne
that Ric Flair, the Nature Boy, still sits on. And I'll
sit on this throne until somebody knocks me off. And, kid,
that ain't gonna be you.
You want me to make you famous? I will. From now on everybody
will remember your name as the person that an old man with
a bad hip, a vengeful wife, and an expensive lawyer - beat
up. You'll be famous, punk. And I'll still be on the throne.
Because - to be the man, you have to beat the man, Carly.
And. You. Are. Not. The. Man. There is only one Nature Boy.
Torrie, I'll see you around midnight. And bring a friend.
WHOOOOO!!!!!!!"
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