Home / Results / Monday Night Raw / April 16, 2012

1. WWE title: CM Punk def. Mark Henry.

2. US title: Santino Marella def. David Otunga.

3. Kane NC Zack Ryder.

4. Daniel Bryan def. Kofi Kingston-submission.

5. Brodus Clay def. Dolph Ziggler-DQ due to interference from Jack Swagger.

6. Non-title: Big Show & Great Khali def. Primo & Epico Colon when Khali pinned Primo.

7. Lord Tensai def. John Cena due to interference from David Otunga.

England swings and shakes as WWE returns to London for their annual spring visit, and we start right away with what rightfully should be our main event..........

1. WWE title: CM Punk vs. Mark Henry.

This was no-DQ, no countout, and as advertised, brutal to the max. Henry is too big for Punk to use the GTS, so he had to find a way to improvise. As soon as a chair came into play, and, given the stips, amazingly, it was the only weapon, Punk had his equalizer. Henry got the chair and wedged it between the turnbuckles, so of course that backfired. Punk retrieved the chair, and used it for what normally would be an elbow drop off the top to end it. Winner: CM Punk.

Post-match, Chris Jericho appears on the TitanTron, and footage is shown of Punk entering and leaving a local club earlier in the day, but it does nothing to prove Jericho's increasingly pathetic claims about Punk and alcohol compromising his straight edge values.

2. US title: Santino Marella vs. David Otunga.

Despite losing to John Cena last week, Otunga gets this match simply because he was the winning captain at Wrestlemania 2 weeks ago. He had the title in his grasp for a split second after hitting the Verdict, but Marella got his foot on the rope. Otunga argues with ref Charles Robinson, and it proves costly, as Marella unleashed the cobra on Otunga. Good night. Winner: Santino Marella.

Josh Mathews interviews Lord Tensai & Sakamoto. Tensai, in English & Japanese, speaks of fear of the unknown.

Brock Lesnar is interviewed via video. He doesn't consider himself a WWE superstar anymore, just an ass-kicker. Claims Cena is scared. We'll see.

3. Kane vs. Zack Ryder.

Match never started. Kane kicked Ryder off the apron and destroyed him before the bell could even be rung to start the match.

4. Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan.

Earlier, Bryan interrupted a conversation Kofi had with the former champ's former squeeze, AJ Lee, who is watching the match on the monitor backstage. He claimed Kofi was hitting on AJ, as he's trying to control the poor girl. Give me a break. They gave these two plenty of time, and rightfully so, as this was the best match on the show. Kofi hit the boom drop, but couldn't connect with Trouble in Paradise. Bryan went for the LeBell lock, now known as the Yeslock, but Kofi countered into the SOS for 2. Bryan sidesteps a frog crossbody and finally applies the Yeslock. Kofi struggles but taps. The "Yes!" chants have gotten annoying, and Bryan acting like he's orgasming has become stale. Winner: Daniel Bryan.

John Cena is out, and cuts a promo saying he is ready to fight Lesnar at Extreme Rules in what will be an extreme rules match. John Laurinaitis is out, and says there'll be an extreme rules match tonight, but won't reveal the opponent, perhaps hoping the fans will think Lesnar will actually appear in the arena.

5. Brodus Clay (w/Naomi & Cameron) vs. Dolph Ziggler (w/Vickie Guerrero & Jack Swagger).

After getting squashed in a tag match last week, Ziggler gets Clay in a single, but it lasts less than a minute. Ziggler hit a dropkick to start, but couldn't put Clay down. Crossbody countered into a modified T-bone suplex. Swagger tries pulling Ziggler out of the ring to avoid the big splash, but Clay pulls them both in. As soon as Swagger throws a punch, the ref calls for the bell. Winner: Brodus Clay via DQ.

Post-match, Clay clears out Swagger & Ziggler. Vickie is on the apron. Naomi & Cameron try to pull her off. Vickie kicks Cameron and starts laughing. Big mistake. Trying to avoid Naomi, Vickie finds herself surrounded by Naomi & Brodus, and flees screaming.

David Otunga has changed outfits and has his ever present coffee. Eve Torres joins him & Laurinaitis for a meeting of some kind.......

6. Non-title: Primo & Epico Colon (w/Rosa Mendes) vs. Big Show & Great Khali.

Abraham Washington, now known simply as AW, and repackaged as a talent agent, is on the stage scouting possible clients. He turns out to be an afterthought. The tag champs had no chance. Khali was in the whole way. Rosa tried to have her charges flee when they couldn't mount an offense, but Show intercepted, and what ended up happening was a chokeslam for Epico and the Punjabi Plunge for Primo. Good night, nurse! Winners: Big Show & Great Khali.

Throughout the show, R-Truth, dressed as Sherlock Holmes, was trying to find a new job for Teddy Long, but the joke was on Teddy, as Truth claimed Long still was meant to be Smackdown GM. In one skit, Truth entered a room with a secret entrance while Hornswoggle was reading. 'Swoggle tried to leave the same way, but couldn't budge the door.......

7. Extreme Rules: John Cena vs. Lord Tensai (w/Sakamoto).

Laurinaitis & Otunga came back out and the GM introduced Tensai. Like, a blind man could've seen that coming. As A-Train, Tensai had been a tag partner and opponent of Cena in the past, and they're from the same area. Sakamoto actually did something, attacking Cena on the floor, but that was minor. Otunga threw Cena back in for no reason. Cena made the late rally. Otunga ran in and ate a Attitude Adjustment. Cena turns around, and Tensai does a Tajiri and hits the green mist, followed by a Derailer, to pick up the win. Winner: Lord Tensai.